TOM UTLEY: There’s a special place in hell for insurance firms 

There are pickpockets, petty thieves and wide-boy conmen. Then there are bank robbers, serial fraudsters and international money launderers. Finally, at the very bottom of this hellish pit of iniquity, you’ll find the country’s big‑name insurance companies. How they must gloat as they exploit reputations for integrity, built up decades ago when you could still find … Read more

TOM UTLEY: I agree with Grayson Perry – the Right are much nicer than Lefties 

On the face of it, the transvestite ceramic artist Grayson Perry is one of the least likely people in all the world to say anything even mildly complimentary about Right-wingers. I don’t say this just because he likes to dress up in women’s clothes — although the Left, if you’ll pardon a generalisation, tends to … Read more

TOM UTLEY: My week in a stately home made me yearn for suburbia 

Over the past few days, I’ve thought often of the opening scene in an episode of Telegoons, the BBC‘s less than wholly successful 1960s TV adaptation of the young Prince Charles‘s favourite radio programme, The Goon Show. The scene in question begins as night falls with Henry Crun, a puppet voiced by Peter Sellers, lighting the … Read more

TOM UTLEY I thought our four sons would break the bank – until we got Minnie

 At the start of the lockdown in Bogota, Colombia, where the rules were much stricter than in Britain, our youngest son was stopped in the park by a policeman, who demanded to know: ‘Where’s your dog?’ He replied that he didn’t have one. ‘Then go home and stay there,’ said the officer, who explained that … Read more

Insurance tycoon Neil Utley set for £70m windfall from Hastings sale

Insurance tycoon Neil Utley set to reap a £70m windfall as consortium of investors prepares to buy Hastings By Lucy White For The Daily Mail Published: 21:51 BST, 5 August 2020 | Updated: 21:51 BST, 5 August 2020 £70m windfall: Hastings insurance boss Neil Utley Insurance tycoon Neil Utley is set to rake more than … Read more

TOM UTLEY: Has the virus really killed off the suit and tie for good? 

As I write, I’m sitting at an enormous mahogany desk in my oak-panelled, book-lined study, attired in formal evening dress.  My starched shirt-front, dazzlingly white, is as stiff as a sheet of tin. You can see your face in my patent-leather shoes, polished to a brilliant shine. My black tie and matching cummerbund are spun from … Read more

TOM UTLEY: A storm in a teacup over tea. Wags in £1m legal war. Why I’m tickled by trivia’s return

You can tell life is edging slowly back to normality when people stop dwelling on the possibility of imminent death and start turning their minds once again to the wonderfully trivial obsessions that help to make the world go round. So it is that I’ve been delighted to see so many getting hot under the collar … Read more

TOM UTLEY: If Mrs U has stopped listening to The Archers, the world is (virtually) over

Unprecedented is a word much bandied about since the Covid crisis struck. But no other adjective adequately describes two extraordinary surprises in the Utley household on Wednesday, separated by less than two hours. The first was shortly before 7pm, when Mrs U was chatting idly to a friend on the telephone, carrying on a conversation … Read more

My Corbynist son broke lockdown to join the protests… it’s left me in a pickle, says Tom Utley

 He’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But how I empathise with poor Piers Morgan, tied up in intellectual knots by the conflict between his professed beliefs and his affection for his son. As the high priest of lockdown and scourge of those ‘Covidiots’ who break social distancing rules, Piers had no hesitation last week in … Read more

TOM UTLEY: Mrs U wants to join the hordes escaping to the country

The spine-chilling omens have been evident for many months now: a tendency to study the property pages with far more attention than she has displayed in the past; a heightened interest in TV shows such as Escape To The Country and Location, Location, Location. Plus, the odd, casual observation thrown out over supper — ‘Isn’t … Read more