Has ‘I love you’ become a cheap throwaway line? Singles weigh in on whether the phrase really means anything in modern dating
- Australian relationship expert Louanne Ward has posed a question on Facebook
- She asked singles whether saying you love someone is a form of commitment
- Louanne wanted to know if ‘I love you’ has become a throwaway line for people
- Some said they felt reality TV shows had disturbed the meaning of the phrase
- But others felt like they knew when someone was being ‘genuine’ with their love
An Australian relationship coach has asked singles whether the phrase ‘I love you’ still signifies making a commitment, or whether it has become a ‘throwaway line’ because of reality TV dating shows.
Expert Louanne Ward, from Perth in Western Australia, posed the question in her Facebook group She Said, He Said, looking to see how love is shown in modern relationships, and whether it needs to be said out loud.
Some people said that when they hear ‘I love you’ it would mean that they are the only person that their partner wants to be with, while others said they rely on actions to decide how someone feels, not those words.
Expert Louanne Ward (pictured) posed the question in her Facebook group She Said, He Said, looking to see how love is shown in modern relationships, and whether it needs to be said out loud as it did centuries before
‘VERY good question, I wondered along with many other Bachelor viewers this season how telling two women “I love you” could be helpful for them. Getting your hopes up… so I guess it is a form of commitment,’ one woman said.
‘If someone tells me he loves me I would automatically assume that he loves ONLY me and nobody else.’
‘I tell everyone “I love you”. But I retrain myself in a relationship and would only say that after he said it to me. If I felt the same way of course,’ said another.
A third added: ‘Yes, I live by the mantra of “I love you is a promise that you choose to keep”‘.
Others were less sure the phrase still held the same weight it had done previously, with its overuse making it seem less special.
Others were less sure the phrase still held the same weight it had done previously, with its overuse making it seem less special (stock image)
‘With all the ghosting and gaslighting going on, saying “I love you” has become a really cheap statement to make, with minimal meaning. I only ever say it if I really, really love someone, or to a pet,’ said one lady.
‘”I love you” romantically is so overused in this TV-driven society without truthfulness, longevity and resilience to a long lasting relationship,’ said another.
Another person said: ‘Definitely a throwaway line if I’ve ever seen one unfortunately’.
Louanne said it was ‘sad’ to see how society was misusing the phrase, particularly when they didn’t mean it, because it can cause so much harm to the individual.
Louanne said it was ‘sad’ to see how society was misusing the phrase, particularly when they didn’t mean it, because it can cause so much harm to the individual
‘Ultimately love is a giving thing, not a receiving thing. You can give it sincerely and genuinely and not receive it in return. In many ways, it has become transactional,’ she said.
‘When you share those words in an exchange of a romantic or relationship gesture the words become sacred. They are not something you say to someone in context unless there is intention behind them.
‘The damage sharing them without intention or not sharing them have… well they have the ability to do permanent damage.’