A woman who has been trying for a baby with her husband for 12 years has described her anguish at experiencing four miscarriages, including prematurely giving birth to twins who died last month after just an hour of life.
Jade and Andrew Barton, from Basingstoke, Hampshire, have spent more than £30,000 on IVF in their efforts to conceive, including borrowing £12,000 from friends and family.
But as well as having polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) – which makes natural conception difficult – Jade, 32, also has an incompetent cervix, meaning that it shortens and opens during pregnancy before it should – causing premature birth.
The couple’s expensive fertility treatment – only one round of which was paid for by the NHS because of a policy in their area of no funding for couples under 30 which was later changed – has seen Jade fall pregnant four times.
On the first occasion, in 2014, Jade miscarried the day before her first scan; on the second after just seven weeks and on the third, which came in 2018, their baby girl Riley was stillborn at 17 weeks.
Jade then gave birth to twins George and Amelia last month, in the 22nd week of pregnancy, but they died after just an hour of life because they were too small to have breathing tubes put into them.
But Jade and Andrew, 31, who have 22 frozen embryos remaining, are refusing to give up on their dream of having a family.
Jade Barton, 32, who has been trying for a baby with her husband Andrew, 31, for 12 years, has described her anguish at experiencing four miscarriages, including prematurely giving birth to twins who died last month after just an hour of life. Pictured: the couple with the twins shortly after their birth
The couple, from Basingstoke, Hampshire, have spent more than £30,000 on IVF in their efforts to conceive, including borrowing £12,000 from friends and family
Recalling Riley, who was born in December 2018, Jade, who works as a carer, said: ‘She weighed just 110g. She so was tiny she didn’t stand a chance.’
Yet the couple were able to spend four precious days with their baby in a special unit at North Hampshire Hospital, named the Butterfly Suite, which is dedicated to allow bereaved parents to spend time with babies they have lost.
‘We came out of hospital on Christmas Eve and I didn’t want to leave Riley,’ Jade recalled.
‘The staff gave us blankets and teddy bears and we had foot and hand prints made.
‘We were able to make amazing memories with her and were given a beautiful memory box. It helped us massively with the grieving process.
‘We left hospital with something of her even though we didn’t leave with her.’
A funeral was held for Riley at Basingstoke Crematorium, where she was cremated in a tiny white coffin with yellow flowers.
Jade and Andrew have had four successful and one unsuccessful round of IVF – just one of which was NHS-funded – remortgaging their house to meet estimated costs of in excess of £30,000.
An ultrasound scan of the couple’s twins when the pregnancy was progressing normally
Yet, still, this brave pair’s message to would-be parents remains not to give up hope.
Jade said: ‘I have always said, from the beginning, that while the pain of not having a family is still more than the pain of everything we are going through with IVF, I will continue to try.’
Jade and Andrew first started trying for a baby in 2008.
With no pregnancy in sight and suffering with irregular periods, in 2010, Jade was diagnosed with PCOS.
She recalled: ‘The doctor said we could still get pregnant with it and as we were young we should just keep trying.’
When another year passed without falling pregnant, they were referred to a gynaecologist at Basingstoke and North Hampshire Hospital, where tests revealed that Jade was not releasing any eggs.
Given medication to stimulate ovulation, when it failed to work after six months, she had some cysts removed from her ovaries.
In 2018, the couple’s baby girl Riley was stillborn after 17 weeks of pregnancy. Pictured: The little girl’s funeral
Still failing to ovulate by the end of 2012, her doctors advised her to try IVF, where an egg is removed from a woman’s ovaries and fertilised with sperm in a laboratory, before being returned to her womb to develop.
The advice came as a shock to the couple – who had not told anyone about their fertility problems – and who discovered there was no NHS funding for couples under the age of 30 for IVF in their area at that point.
‘I was 24, so we were thinking we would have to wait another five or six years, as there was no way we would be able to afford to pay for private IVF. It felt completely out of reach,’ said Jade.
Deciding to keep trying to conceive naturally, in June 2013, Andrew and Jade tied the knot – scraping together enough money by Christmas to pay for one round of IVF, only for a change in policy to make it available to couples aged over 25 on the NHS.
‘In January 2014, I started medication and managed to get 21 eggs, but I overstimulated, which happens when too many eggs develop and become large and painful, so I ended up in hospital for a week,’ Jade said.
‘We had six viable eggs, two of which were transferred a couple of months after my hospital stay.
‘We fell pregnant, but miscarried the day before our first scan. It was the first positive pregnancy test I’d ever had, but it was all over before it had begun.
‘We thought, maybe, because we had two eggs, that was the problem, so the next time we tried with one but did not fall pregnant at all.’
Feeling the emotional and physical toll of the process, they took a break for a year before trying again with the remaining three embryos, but, sadly, failed to conceive.
Then, in 2017, the couple borrowed £12,000 from friends and family to pay for three rounds of IVF with a private company that offered a full refund if they didn’t fall pregnant.
From this treatment, they had two embryos transferred but both miscarried at seven weeks.
‘I can’t even think about how much we’ve spent over the years, I hardly dare to add it up,’ Jade said.
‘Each time you have to pay for medication on top and to store the embryos. It costs thousands and thousands.
‘I spent money on medication, but sometimes I still didn’t produce eggs for retrieval and would have to try again.
‘The next month using the same medication I would produce dozens of eggs. It all seemed to be down to luck.
‘One month we got 36 eggs and from that eight embryos. From those embryos we had two transfers and miscarried both times at seven weeks.’
After an ultrasound scan failed to detect any reason for her miscarriages, Jade tried again with another embryo and had another positive pregnancy test.
Recalling Riley, who was born in December 2018, Jade, who works as a carer, said: ‘She weighed just 110g. She so was tiny she didn’t stand a chance’
At her 12-week scan while pregnant with Riley, everything seemed fine but she was then born at 17 weeks
The couple spent four days with the baby they had lost, before holding a heartbreaking funeral. They were able to take prints of her hands and feet
‘We were cautiously optimistic,’ she said.
‘We went for our 12-week scan and everything looked fine, but then at 17 weeks I went into labour and Riley was born sleeping.’
Jade lost a lot of blood during labour and was rushed straight to theatre, where medics managed to stabilise her.
A few hours later, she met Riley and the couple spent four days with the baby they had lost, before holding a heartbreaking funeral.
Meanwhile, further investigations revealed that Jade had an incompetent cervix, which according to miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth charity Tommy’s happens when the cervix shortens and opens in the second trimester.
‘With the polycystic ovary syndrome and the weak cervix, I’m really unlucky,’ she said.
‘It makes it harder to conceive and harder to carry a baby, which explained why Riley did not survive.’
Refusing to give up, the couple tried again with their two remaining embryos in February 2019 and, when they did not conceive, they had another attempt – this time having the embryos genetically tested to try and minimise the risk of miscarriage.
George and Amelia were born in August but weighed just 404g and 360g respectively
The heartbroken couple spent four days with the twins – staying in the Butterfly Suite at North Hampshire Hospital, which is set aside for parents to spend time with babies they have lost. Pictured: The babies’ funeral
Sadly, Jade again overstimulated and ended up in hospital, but produced 38 eggs, seven of which became embryos, which were all tested and proved to be fine.
Left devastated after three more transfers and no pregnancies, she said: ‘We’d basically taken a massive gamble and it hadn’t paid off. We had one round of IVF left, but no embryos in the freezer. ‘
Remortgaging their home to raise funds, in January this year, the couple tried again – this time with Jade producing 53 eggs and being hospitalised once more for overstimulating.
But 24 embryos were frozen – with two being transferred in April.
‘At our six-week scan we were shocked to see that both had worked and we were going to have two babies, which we were so happy about, as it meant we would never have to do this again – we would have our family,’ said Jade.
‘I had bleeding, so was on bed rest, but at our 12-week scan, everything looked fine.
‘At the 14-week scan, they found my cervix had started to shorten the way it had with Riley, so I spoke to a specialist at a hospital in London, who was able to put a cervical stitch in to close it and reduce the risk of the babies coming too early.’
The couple made hand and footprints of George and Amelia, creating precious memories
A small charity, From Leia with Love, even provided a dress and little outfit for both babies, whose funeral took place on Tuesday, September 1 at Basingstoke Crematorium – in a tragic replay for the couple of Riley’s farewell
But at 20 weeks, one of her waters broke, so Jade was taken to hospital and given antibiotics – enabling doctors to remove the stitch, which had become infected.
‘I had to hope the infection did not get worse and that labour did not start. We had to try and get as far along as we could,’ she said.
‘Sadly, doctors told us that the little boy, George, was unlikely to survive, because he had no water and his lungs would not be strong enough.
‘We just wanted to get to 24 weeks to give his sister, Amelia, the best chance.’
But at 22 weeks labour started and the twins were both born on August 15 – George at 1.01am and Amelia at 1.21am.
Jade’s sister Nicola Meredith launched a GoFundMe page to raise £2,000 for the twins’ funeral, but they have now made £2,335 and are donating any extra funds to the Butterfly Suite
With 22 embryos remaining, Jade and Andrew refuse to give up on their dream of having a family. Pictured: Cards with the babies’ birth details
The couple held a gender reveal party for George and Amelia during the pregnancy
Jade said: ‘We got to kiss and cuddle both of them, but there was no chance, they were just too tiny. Amelia weighed 360g and George 404g, so doctors would not have been able to get a breathing tube into them.
‘They both lived for about an hour and died with me cuddling them.’
Again the heartbroken couple spent four days with the twins – staying in the Butterfly Suite, making hand and footprints and precious memories.
A small charity, From Leia with Love, even provided a dress and little outfit for both babies, whose funeral took place on Tuesday, September 1 at Basingstoke Crematorium – in a tragic replay for the couple of Riley’s farewell.
Still, with 22 embryos remaining, Jade and Andrew refuse to give up on their dream of having a family.
‘I would tell other people going through something similar that it’s important to talk to people and get advice, but that, inevitably, only you will know when you’re ready to give up. You know what’s right for you in your heart,’ Jade said.
‘It is draining physically and emotionally and it’s easy for it to consume you, but you have to try not to let it and to take care of each other and your relationship.
The babies should have been born in December this year but instead came in August
‘I would tell other people going through something similar that it’s important to talk to people and get advice, but that, inevitably, only you will know when you’re ready to give up. You know what’s right for you in your heart,’ Jade said
‘It is draining physically and emotionally and it’s easy for it to consume you, but you have to try not to let it and to take care of each other and your relationship,’ she added. Pictured: Floral tributes to George and Amelia
‘We’ve had lots of support from social media groups and chatted to people who have had losses as we have, as well as to people who it has worked out for. Baby charities like Tommy’s, SANDS, and SiMBA, which makes memory boxes, have also been really supportive.’
Jade’s sister Nicola Meredith launched a GoFundMe page to raise £2,000 for the twins’ funeral, but they have now made £2,335 and are donating any extra funds to the Butterfly Suite.
‘The compassion and care we received from the midwives was amazing and I can’t stress enough how outstanding the Butterfly Suite is,’ said Jade. ‘We want to thank everyone who has donated so far.
‘Sometimes I just wish that feeling of wanting to be a mum and have a family would go away.
‘If it did I wouldn’t have to go through this horrible process and keep blaming myself, but it doesn’t.
‘But I want to be a mum more than anything. We will keep trying until I can’t take anymore’
To donate visit the couple’s Go Fund Me page.