Around 8.30 on Monday morning, I was confronted by an unfamiliar sight: my teenage daughter, up and dressed, preparing to leave the house.
Fair to say it’s been some weeks since she last saw the right side of lunchtime, so I was a little surprised. And then I remembered: the shops were reopening.
After weeks of essential-only purchases (although I did manage to secure a multipack of pants and some trainer socks from my local M&S Foodhall halfway through lockdown), the great British public was finally allowed to resume its favourite sporting activity, namely acquiring more stuff.
Primark and Sports Direct were rammed, the Nike flagship store in Oxford Street was mobbed, even upmarket Selfridges was assailed by shoppers desperate for what one called ‘a bit of normality’. At one point Oxfordshire’s designer outlet, Bicester Village, began trending on Twitter as thousands flocked to snap up dormant bargains.
The great British public was finally allowed to resume its favourite sporting activity, namely acquiring more stuff. Pictured: Shoppers queueing outside Primark on Oxford Street, London
Primark and Sports Direct were rammed, the Nike flagship store in Oxford Street was mobbed, even upmarket Selfridges was assailed by shoppers desperate for what one called ‘a bit of normality. Pictured: People queueing to enter Nike Town on Oxford Street
When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping — and, boy, has it been a tough few months!
And why not. After all, they were only doing their patriotic duty, heeding the Prime Minister’s call to ‘shop for Britain’ in the quest to restore our coronavirus-ravaged service economy. As excuses go, it’s a pretty good one.
That said, I’m ashamed to say I have yet to do my bit for the war effort. Despite the enticing prospect of my local TK Maxx store now being fully restocked with the kind of useless fripperies I once thrived on, I seem to have no desire to join the fray.
Now, I’ve always been a great believer in the notion that when a woman is tired of shopping, she is tired of life. But I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less now. And it’s nothing to do with social distancing or endless queues.
At first, I was frustrated not to be able to enjoy my customary whizz round Zara on the way home from work. But it didn’t take long for the craving to leave my system.
For a few weeks, I compensated by ordering things online — but even that has tapered off. The only packages arriving at my door these days are the repeat order for dog food and the occasional book.
The truth is I’ve realised that the absence of shopping in my life has made me appreciate what I already have much more.
Like an alcoholic who has just emerged from a compulsory three-month stint in The Priory, lockdown has forced me to confront my toxic relationship with materialism. And it seems to have worked.
Deprived of the freedom to hunter-gather at will across the great open plains of the British High Street, I’ve learned much of what I need I already possess in my metaphorical cave. Not just in terms of shoes and trinkets from Anthropologie, but also family, friendship and general well-being.
The empty space that I once filled with stuff has opened up opportunities for reflection about the things that really matter in life —- very few of which, I discover, have a price tag.
That is not to say I now look down on those who feel differently. And, like I say, they are performing an important civic duty. But I do wonder how many of those who arrived home with bags of stuff on Monday feel that their purchases were truly worth the wait.
Disgraced former Labour MP Fiona Onasanya denounces Kellogg’s for using Coco the Monkey as a mascot for its Coco Pops while ‘three white boys’ represent Rice Krispies, as the febrile debate over how racist Britain is reaches new depths.
Where this leaves Tony the Tiger and the Honey Monster is anyone’s guess.
The real question should be why food manufacturers are allowed to market sugar-laden cereals via loveable cartoon characters to kids in the first place, given that 20 per cent of year 6 pupils are now classified as obese.
Rowling and some not so wizard wokelings
JK Rowling has become something of an icon to old-school feminists in recent weeks, after daring to express her concerns about the way the hard-won rights of women risk being undermined by the demands of the trans lobby.
It is an important debate which needs to happen for the sake of all women, be they biological or trans.
But like so many of the thorny issues of our time, any interpretation that does not satisfy the ‘woke’ police is rejected as bigotry.
Now some of the younger staff at Rowling’s publisher, Hachette, are refusing to work on her latest book, to show their support for trans women.
Pictured: Rupert Grint, Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson with JK Rowling at a film premiere in London in 2001
It’s bad enough that the three actors who owe Rowling their careers — Rupert Grint, Daniel Radcliffe and Emma ‘I’m a feminist’ Watson — have refused to defend her in public.
But the fact that the publishing industry, arguably the last bastion of free speech, has also been infiltrated by these blinkered little wokelings sends a shiver down the spine.
Another agonising twist for the McCanns in their quest to discover what happened to their daughter.
German prosecutors say they have written to the couple to tell them Maddie is dead — but have refused to divulge how they know this.
They claim that to do so would jeopardise their investigation.
But surely they can release the details to the couple on the understanding they remain strictly confidential?
After all they have been through, it’s the least they deserve.
Rashford’s real lesson
Thanks to an impassioned plea by Manchester United forward Marcus Rashford, the Government has now extended the free school meals scheme into the summer holidays.
It would have been easy to dismiss his intervention as the actions of a pampered Premier League star playing at politics — especially since the 22-year-old earned north of £10 million last year.
But the truth is that Rashford is the kind of success story we should be proud of — a young man who grew up in difficult circumstances but, through hard work and with the support of his mother (who sounds formidable), made something truly remarkable of his life.
It is right he should speak out on behalf of others like him, and right also that the Government listened.
Time now for others to listen, too — by which I mean the teaching unions, whose refusal to collaborate on a clear timetable to reopen all schools is fast reducing the life chances of the most vulnerable pupils.
It has been revealed that around two million have done almost no work in lockdown, with those in the poorest brackets faring worst.
As a parent, I know how much my own two are struggling away from school — and they have every means by which to succeed.
We should reopen schools now, and they should stay open during the summer holidays to give children the chance to catch up.
Otherwise, a generation of young Rashfords will be lost for ever.
The vice-chancellor of Oxford University, Professor Louise Richardson, says students affected by the brutality of the murder of George Floyd can apply for ‘mitigating circumstances’ if they feel it has affected their performance in exams.
His death has been traumatic for many, but using it as an excuse for poor academic performance is not only insulting to his memory, it also further undermines confidence in this once-great institution.
The day I met Melania
I’ve actually met Melania Trump (pictured), albeit briefly, just over a year ago when she and ‘The Donald’ were here on a State visit
A new biography about Melania Trump paints America’s First Lady as an inscrutable, taciturn tyrant known as ‘the Portrait’ by her step-daughter Ivanka; as a ruthless loner, every bit as ambitious as her husband.
The White House has dismissed the book as ‘fiction’. Who knows?
I’ve actually met Melania Trump, albeit briefly, just over a year ago when she and ‘The Donald’ were here on a State visit.
She was very far from aloof — she even cracked a joke.
She seemed far less glacial and full of herself than some celebrities I’ve met.
I did, however, get the impression that her English isn’t very fluent, which perhaps explains why Slovenian-born Melania doesn’t say much.
Either way, I’m sure the book will do well. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about politics it’s that the conspiracy is always so much more thrilling than the truth.
Drivers of electric vehicles are to be rewarded with special green number plates in a bid to turn eco-friendly vehicles into a ‘sought-after status symbol’.
Why not just go the whole hog and make drivers of petrol and diesel engines — many of whom simply can’t afford to replace their existing vehicles — wear devil’s horns and pointy tails?
Pictured: Andrew Banks urinating next to PC Keith Palmer’s memorial
Andrew Banks, the man pictured urinating next to the memorial to PC Keith Palmer, has been jailed for 14 days.
Fair enough, it was a revolting act.
But can the authorities please extend the same treatment to the woman who tried to set fire to a Union Flag on the Cenotaph in a similar act of disrespect to the fallen?