Why ARE we so exhausted during lockdown?

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Why ARE we so exhausted during lockdown? Expert claims it’s due to a shift from ‘shock, denial and anger’ to a ‘pit of despair’ on ‘the change curve’ which leaves us tired and unmotivated

  • Angela Cox, a behavioural change life coach, says normal to feel tired right now
  • Many people are currently in ‘depression’ stage of Kubler Ross Change Curve
  • When in this stage, ‘the exhaustion is real, the lack of motivation is apparent’
  • Gives tips for guiding yourself into next stages of understanding and acceptance

By Hayley Richardson For Mailonline

Published: | Updated:

The end of the week usually brings about that ‘Friday feeling’, but for many of us in lockdown each day currently feels like it’s merging into the next. 

If you’re not a key worker right now and are working from home, or have been furloughed from your job, you may have found yourself with a great deal more time on your hands.

No commuting and zero socialising – bar the odd call on Zoom – should mean we all feel more relaxed than we usually do in our normal, busy day-to-day lives. 

But many people on social media are complaining of feeling unusually tired and lacking in energy and motivation for anything that requires more than getting off their sofas.

No commuting and zero socialising – bar the odd call on Zoom – should mean we all feel more relaxed than we usually do in our normal, busy day-to-day lives – but for many that’s not the case. Pictured: stock image

While the threat to our security, both from a health and financial perspective, generates worry and often anxiety which can leave us feeling exhausted, Angela Cox, a Bedfordshire-based award-winning behavioural change life coach, believes there’s more to it.

She told FEMAIL that what many people are feeling right now is the impact of the ‘Change Curve’. 

‘The Kubler Ross Change Curve was originally designed to outline the states of grief and it’s also used in business to help manage people going through a change experience,’ she explained. 

‘Its impact on a personal change journey is just as, if not more, relevant and the Covid-19 threat has plunged us all into one of the greatest change curves ever experienced.

‘Understanding where you might be on the change curve is key – and even more critical is recognising that you will experience it differently to those around you.’

Angela said the curve is very much an individual process and an emotionally led one, too. 

The Kubler Ross Change Curve was originally designed to outline the states of grief and it's also used in business to help manage people going through a change experience

The Kubler Ross Change Curve was originally designed to outline the states of grief and it’s also used in business to help manage people going through a change experience

‘Even within the same household, people can be at a different stage on the curve which can cause conflicts and misunderstandings as behaviours and feelings won’t align,’ she said.

‘The journey starts with shock, followed by denial – and if you roll back to February, many of us were thinking Covid-19 wouldn’t be as big as it has become. 

‘Anger and frustration follow, and at this stage we become critical of ourselves and judgemental of others. We saw the term “Covidiots” surface, which is a demonstration of the anger stage in action.

‘The depression stage of the curve is something I refer to as the “pit of despair” and when we are in this stage, the exhaustion is real, the lack of motivation is apparent and it’s a much easier proposition to sit on the sofa eating ice-cream than it is to go for a run.’

Angela added that another element we are feeling right now is the impact of so many new habit loops, which create ‘mini change curves’ within the larger overall experience. 

Angela urged people feeling the effects of the 'pit of despair' to turn to 'hope and optimism'

Angela urged people feeling the effects of the ‘pit of despair’ to turn to ‘hope and optimism’

‘We are having to shop in new ways, teach our children, work at home and communicate differently,’ she explained.

‘This requires adaptation, and new pathways need to be created in our brain to accommodate and adjust to new routines. 

‘We can’t work on autopilot and need to give tasks more attention than normal. With so many changes happening at once, the system is overloaded and the internal computer says “no”.’ 

Angela urged people feeling the effects of the ‘pit of despair’ to turn to ‘hope and optimism’.

‘This exhaustion won’t last forever,’ she assured. ‘The change curve has an upside as we claw our way out of the pit of despair and head towards acceptance and moving on. 

‘The low won’t last and the sun will come out again. So hang in there, allow yourself some hippo time and know it will pass.’

Angela’s top tips for overcoming the ‘depression’ stage of the Change Curve 

BREATHING TECHNIQUES 

When you are in the pit of despair one of the things that helps hugely is practicing a specific breathing technique. Doing so adapts your physiology and sends a message to you brain that all is well. 

It acts like a circuit breaker, allowing your brain to override negative thoughts and prevent fight-flight or freeze responses. 

Two or three times per day, take a breath in through your nose for a count of four, hold the breath for a count of four, and slowly and gently exhale for a count of 11. 

Repeat three times and practice as often as your remember. It helps to set a recurring alarm in your phone to remind you to do this.

FOCUS ON GRATITUDE 

Another important practice during this time is focussing on the things that you can be grateful for. Even in the bleakest of times you can find a ray of light if you look hard enough. 

Connecting with gratitude produces feelings of optimism and hope which act as guide ropes to pull you out of the pit. It may help to make a list of all the positive things in your life right now.

TRY TO KEEP ACTIVE 

It’s important to get a balance between relenting to the exhaustion by allowing yourself to rest and getting moving to produce energy to relieve the tiredness.

My advice would be to set one to two intentions each morning of things you will do to invest in your self-respect. This may be a walk in the fresh air, a YouTube work-out or drinking a green smoothie packed with goodness. Prioritise these things so you boost your esteem and then can rest without feeling restless.

LIMIT YOUR VICES 

Watch out for your ability to justify the things that aren’t so good for you such as pots of ice-cream or increased amounts of alcohol. We can be expert excuse makers when we feel tired. 

Set yourself a limit for the week as to what treats you will allow yourself. Setting intentions really helps keep control when there are lots of uncontrollables happening around you.

For more information about Angela’s work visit www.angela-cox.co.uk