Jack Tweed has discussed his alcohol and drug addiction after struggling to cope with the passing of his late wife, Jade Goody.
The TV personality and widower, 33, revealed he’s still ‘not 100 per cent.’ after losing her and admitted to spending £100-a-day to withstand suicidal thoughts and the ongoing grief.
Jade died at the age of 27 in March 2009 following a battle with cervical cancer, just one-month after she tied the knot with Jack.
Tragic: Jack Tweed revealed he’s still ‘not 100 per cent.’ after losing his late wife, Jade Goody, and admitted to spending £100-a-day on drugs and alcohol to cope with suicidal thoughts and the ongoing grief
Speaking of the immeasurable loss, he said to The Sun on Sunday: ‘I’d just sit at home, think about Jade, start crying and then think the only thing to do was go out and drink vodka.
“So I’d just have a drink every day, it would go from there.
‘I started smoking weed after I stopped drinking, and I went through a stage where I got really, really depressed.
‘I replaced the booze for weed and it took me a good four months to get rid of it, to get out of the habit of smoking every day – I was spending £100-a-day.’
Honest: The widower, 33, said to The Sun on Sunday: ‘I’d just sit at home, think about Jade, start crying and then think the only thing to do was go out and drink vodka’
According to Jack, he didn’t know how else to manage the constant thoughts of Jade which occupied his mind, or how he could come to terms with her death.
The former Celebrity Big Brother star added that people would mistakenly think he didn’t care due his reckless behaviour, which was masking his pain.
He eventually went to see his mother after his mental health reached an all-time low.
‘All I could think about was committing suicide,’ he said as he recalled visited her and ‘crying for four hours’ as he ‘didn’t want to be here anymore.’
It was ultimately his closest family members who encouraged him to get help. In addition to spending more time with his mother and taking anti-depressants, he began making small steps towards improving his wellbeing.
While he is no longer depressed, he admitted he is still not a ‘hundred per cent,’ and is focused on ‘getting through’ life, one step-at-a-time.
Jack now works as an electrician, the same occupation he had before meeting Jade.
Earlier in March, the 33-year-old also revealed his new girlfriend is not talking to him after he paid tribute to his late wife on their 12th wedding anniversary.
Pain: Jade died at the age of 27 in March 2009 after her cervical cancer battle, just one-month after she tied the knot with Jack, as he paid tribute to their wedding anniversary earlier this month
The former club promoter confirmed to the publication that he was in a relationship that is ‘the most serious’ he has had since Jade passed away.
Their flourishing romance has however hit a speed-bump as he told The Sun that his new love interest was less than pleased when he shared a throwback from their wedding day, as she believed he should have given her warning.
Jack explained: ‘She’s not talking to me at the moment because I put something up on Instagram and she said I should’ve warned her. I would feel guilty and horrible if I didn’t acknowledge the days that are special to me though.’
He reflected on how former loves have reacted to his widower status, saying: ‘Girls have said in the past, “well you obviously don’t like me and I’m not here to be compared to Jade. So let’s just call it a day.”
Troubled: Jack previously dated fellow Big Brother star Chanelle Hayes for three years, but now feels the relationship was a ‘big mistake’ as he looked at her as ‘Jade’s replacement’
‘So, I’m just sort of waiting for that to happen with this one, basically. I compare everyone to Jade and it’s why I can’t settle down – they always dump me over it’.
Reflecting on his new relationship, he added: ‘I know it’s stupid to think about ’cause I’m never gonna get what I had with Jade again and I’m never going to find Jade again…
‘It’s impossible. I have to get out of my head. I hope it goes well, it’s early days, but I like her a lot and would like to settle down again.’
Jack previously dated fellow Big Brother star Chanelle Hayes for three years, but now feels the relationship was a ‘big mistake’ as he looked at her as ‘Jade’s replacement’.
Jack said he desperately misses Jade’s sons Bobby, 17, and Freddie, 16, who she had with Jeff Brazier and even wishes they were his children.
The former reality star feels he was seen as a ‘villain’ while Jeff was a ‘hero’ after Jade’s death, but said he brought Bobby and Freddie up while he was with her.
Jade suffered a miscarriage just months before she discovered she had cervical cancer and Jack admitted he often wonders what his life would be like if they had had a child.
Jack said he gave £400,000 of his wedding deal with Jade to Bobby and Freddie to be used for their education and said he still speaks to them, but is not as involved in their lives as he would like.
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Honest: Jack said he desperately misses Jade’s sons Bobby, 17, and Freddie, 16, who she had with Jeff Brazier and even wishes they were his children (pictured in 2009)