Louise Thompson reveals speaking out about miscarriage was ‘one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done’

Louise Thompson has said sharing the news she suffered a miscarriage earlier this year is ‘one of the hardest things I’ve ever done’. 

The former Made In Chelsea star, 30, revealed earlier this week that she and her fiancé Ryan Libbey, 30, found out they lost their first baby shortly after finding out she was pregnant. 

Taking to Instagram on Thursday, Louise said she was ‘overwhelmed’ with messages from her followers and candidly detailed her grieving process in the hope to help others.   

Brave: Louise Thompson has said sharing the news she suffered a miscarriage earlier this year is ‘one of the hardest things I’ve ever done’

In a lengthy caption, Louise wrote: ‘I just wanted to say A BIG FAT THANK YOU for all your heartfelt messages, honestly I’m a bit overwhelmed.

‘I have to be honest it was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done…

‘The truth is I believe it’s really important to show that we’re not always 100% stoic, hard as nails, balls to the wall strong, independent women! 

‘We might be fiercely independent (of men), but we definitely need a community in order to function – Us humans are social creatures. 

Devastating: The Made In Chelsea star, 30, revealed earlier this week how she and her fiancu00E9 Ryan Libbey, 30, found out they lost their first baby shortly after finding out she was pregnant

Devastating: The Made In Chelsea star, 30, revealed earlier this week how she and her fiancé Ryan Libbey, 30, found out they lost their first baby shortly after finding out she was pregnant

Important message: Taking to Instagram on Thursday, Louise said she was 'overwhelmed' with messages and candidly detailed her grieving process in the hope to help others

Important message: Taking to Instagram on Thursday, Louise said she was ‘overwhelmed’ with messages and candidly detailed her grieving process in the hope to help others

Sweet: Louise uploaded two shots cuddling her spaniel on her bed

Sweet: Louise uploaded two shots cuddling her spaniel on her bed 

Strong: Louise said it would have felt 'so fake' to not share her loss and said she knew to move forward she had to get over her grief

Strong: Louise said it would have felt ‘so fake’ to not share her loss and said she knew to move forward she had to get over her grief

‘I hate to admit it but sometimes the tools in the toolkit aren’t enough – only good old fashioned talking/listening and sharing advice with one another will do the trick. It’s also often easier to listen to the voices of others than the voice in our own head.’ 

Louise said it would have felt ‘so fake’ to not share her loss and said she knew to move forward she had to get over her grief.

She continued: ‘I have to say it’s been a b****y rollercoaster of a year. When it first happened I actually felt strangely OK. I was just so relieved that I could get pregnant naturally in the first place. Every time I went to the gynae guy to make sure that everything was progressing as it should I went into the meeting on the verge of tears/about to have a nervous breakdown and came out LAUGHING hysterically!

‘He made me feel so damn optimistic about everything. To be honest I was probably slightly in denial.⁣

Comforted: Louise said she connected with friends who had also been through a miscarriage with their first child and that they 'my lifeline'

Comforted: Louise said she connected with friends who had also been through a miscarriage with their first child and that they ‘my lifeline’

⁣’Then I went through the weird stage where I distracted myself with the strangest activities like reading weird research papers and doing a nutrition course that was SO niche and also totally irrelevant when it comes to what I actually need to know about my body. haha.⁣’

Louise said she connected with friends who had also been through a miscarriage with their first child and that they ‘my lifeline’. 

The reality star said she feels ‘relieved everything is out in the open’ and ‘overwhelmed with the incredible responses’.

'Sometimes the timing isn't right': The reality star said she feels 'relieved everything is out in the open' and 'overwhelmed with the incredible responses'

Speaking out: She added: 'I'm also a tiny bit uncertain about the future, but I know I will get there'

‘Sometimes the timing isn’t right’: The reality star said she feels ‘relieved everything is out in the open’ and ‘overwhelmed with the incredible responses’

Her story: Louise spoke out about her grief after she lost her baby

Her story: Louise spoke out about her grief after she lost her baby

She told her followers: ‘Sometimes the timing isn’t right and I need to be patient with what is to come in the future…⁣

‘How I handle grief is actually quite similar to how I have handled issues with addiction in the past. The fastest way for me to get out of addiction or to resolve a deep wound is to remove the shame and face the issue head on.⁣⁣’ 

She added: ‘I’m also a tiny bit uncertain about the future, but I know I will get there. 

Helpful: Louise concluded by sharing some of the things she has learnt to help with her grief

Helpful: Louise concluded by sharing some of the things she has learnt to help with her grief

‘I slightly feel like I’ve opened Pandora’s Box again, but in a way I think it’s forcing me to re-confront an issue I might have buried a bit too quickly. 

‘I am now having to make sure I don’t just pave over the cracks with a pile of positive bulls**t and instead I will really work through my emotions in my head and on paper. 

‘From past experience I know that I am VERY good at the distract distract distract technique, so I’m happy that I have shared my story because I can’t do that anymore.’

Louise concluded by sharing some of the things she has learnt to help with her grief which included muting people on social media that are pregnant, allowing herself to cry for her loss and do anything that ‘makes you feel good’.  ⁣   

Heartbreaking:u00A0The reality star revealed the tragic news on Tuesday, sharing a photo of her tiny baby bump along with one of her positive pregnancy test.

Heartbreaking: The reality star revealed the tragic news on Tuesday, sharing a photo of her tiny baby bump along with one of her positive pregnancy test.

The reality star revealed the tragic news on Tuesday, sharing a photo of her tiny baby bump along with one of her positive pregnancy test.

Louise explained how she ‘had no idea it was possible to love someone that I’d never met quite so much’ and said fertility can be a ‘rough and overwhelming ride’.

She said her ‘whole world changed’ the moment she saw the positive pregnancy test and she started to build an ’emotional connection’ to her baby – but she now recognises it ‘wasn’t meant to be’. 

She wrote: ‘I wanted to share my story because it might help someone, but for the first time in my life, I’m actually a bit lost for words. 

‘Maybe it’s because I feel like I have SO much to say and I don’t want to waste this opportunity or because I’m not sure I’ve 100% processed it yet, but either way, there will be no ‘perfect’ time, so here goes, I’ll try my best.  

‘I’ve always been taught that a problem shared is a problem halved, and I pass that mantra on to others, always encouraging people to talk, talk, talk, so it’s time to practice what I preach.’

Heartbreaking:u00A0The former Made in Chelsea star posted a picture to social media showing a tiny baby bump along with another snap of her positive pregnancy test

Heartbreaking: The former Made in Chelsea star posted a picture to social media showing a tiny baby bump along with another snap of her positive pregnancy test

Engaged: Louise is set to wed personal trainer and former Made In Chelsea co-star Ryan Libbey, 30, who she has been in a relationship with since 2016 (pictured)

Engaged: Louise is set to wed personal trainer and former Made In Chelsea co-star Ryan Libbey, 30, who she has been in a relationship with since 2016 (pictured)

Candid:u00A0She said that she 'had no idea it was possible to love someone that I'd never met quite so much' as she detailed how fertility can be a 'rough and overwhelming ride'

Candid: She said that she ‘had no idea it was possible to love someone that I’d never met quite so much’ as she detailed how fertility can be a ‘rough and overwhelming ride’

She continued: ‘It might seem like everywhere you look on Instagram people are loved up, happy as can be, getting engaged, buying their first house, having intimate weddings, getting their dream job, announcing pregnancies, and other momentous occasions! 

‘I know my page is bombarded with those things right now, the algorithm is hitting me HARD, and it can be tough to see. 

‘For some people, the last 12 months have offered some really exciting prospects and I’m genuinely happy for all those people (because there is no scarcity of good things in this world – there is plenty to go around) and it’s VERY important to be happy for people. 

‘I’ve also had some fantastic opportunities over the past year for which I am Vvv grateful.

‘But whilst all those incredible things are happening for people there is also a great deal of S**T going on behind closed doors – A side that you might not see. 

‘I’ve always chosen to be transparent on this platform because I know how much I appreciate authenticity in other people. 

Hard: Louise explained her experience in the lengthy post and shared resources for others going through the same thing

Hard: Louise explained her experience in the lengthy post and shared resources for others going through the same thing

‘And I think it’s SUPER important that we talk about our struggles as well as our wins so that people don’t think that everyone around them (especially those on social media) live in LaLa fantasy land, where only good things happen.’ 

Louise continued: ‘Another reason that I want to open up about what happened earlier this year. 

‘I don’t know why I feel the need to keep justifying this post, I definitely don’t, I think I’m a bit scared because it’s so raw and slightly out of my comfort zone. 

‘I guess it’s also because there is no easy way to say it, nor any way to sugar coat it, but earlier this year we lost our baby and it was HARD.’ 

Louise said her ‘whole world changed’ the moment she saw the positive pregnancy test and she started to build an ’emotional connection’ to her baby.

She wrote: ‘In all honesty, I had no idea that it was possible to love someone that I’d never met quite SO MUCH.  

Happy couple:u00A0Louise has been dating Ryan since 2016, with the pair announcing their engagement in August 2018

Happy couple: Louise has been dating Ryan since 2016, with the pair announcing their engagement in August 2018

‘From the moment I saw the lines on the pregnancy test I started to build an emotional connection and my whole world changed, and for that to be taken away was devastating. 

‘One of my lovely clients actually sent me a quote from Winnie The Pooh that read ‘sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart’, and I think she hit the nail on the head.  

‘This whole business of fertility can be a ROUGH and OVERWHELMING RIDE – if you know, you know, but you are NOT and WILL NEVER BE alone.⁣’ 

She continued: ‘Having opened up to a few friends I realised that there are quite a few others who have gone through something similar.   

‘I found it very comforting to talk to them about their experiences of loss and grief, and I also found it incredibly comforting to learn that there isn’t really much you can do to prevent it from happening. 

‘I don’t feel any guilt or blame for what happened to me. It just wasn’t meant to be, and hopefully, it will create space for something beautiful in the future.⁣’ 

New adventures: Louise and Ryan appeared on the reality series Made in Chelsea together before leaving the show to pursue other opportunities

New adventures: Louise and Ryan appeared on the reality series Made in Chelsea together before leaving the show to pursue other opportunities

Louise signed off by sharing resources for others going through baby loss to help her fans going through similar situations.

She added: ‘I know I’m rambling tonight, so I will share some more useful bits tomorrow, but for now if you guys have any good resources that you want to share for others then please pop them in the comments below.⁣  

‘I’ve seen that the @miscarriageassociation are holding pregnancy loss support groups over zoom for those that want to talk/be heard.⁣ And ⁣@Tommys is a great charity funding research into the prevention of baby loss.’ 

Louise has been dating personal trainer Ryan since 2016, with the pair announcing their engagement in August 2018. 

The couple appeared on the reality series Made in Chelsea together before leaving the show to pursue other opportunities. 

If you have been affected by this story, you can seek advice at www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk or by calling 01924 200 799  

What causes a miscarriage?

It is highly unlikely that you will ever know the actual cause of a one-off miscarriage, but most are due to the following problems:

ABNORMAL FETUS

The most common cause of miscarriages in the first couple of months is a one-off abnormal development in the fetus, often due to chromosome anomalies. ‘It’s not as though the baby is fine one minute and suddenly dies the next,’ says Professor James Walker, Professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of Leeds. 

‘These pregnancies fail from the outset and were never destined to succeed.’ Most miscarriages like this happen by eight weeks, although bleeding may not start until three or four weeks later, which is worth remembering in subsequent pregnancies. ‘If a scan at eight weeks shows a healthy heart beat, you have a 95 per cent chance of a successful pregnancy,’ says Professor Walker.

HORMONAL FACTORS

A hormonal blip could cause a sporadic miscarriage and never be a problem again. However, a small number of women who have long cycles and irregular periods may suffer recurrent miscarriages because the lining of the uterus is too thin, making implantation difficult. 

Unfortunately, hormone treatment is not terribly successful. 

‘There used to be a trend for progesterone treatment, but trials show this really doesn’t work,’ warns Professor Walker. ‘There is some evidence that injections of HCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin, a hormone released in early pregnancy) can help, but it’s not the answer for everyone.’ The treatment must be started as soon as the pregnancy is confirmed, at around four or five weeks.

AGE 

For women over 40, one in four women who become pregnant will miscarry. [One in four women of all ages miscarry, but these figures include women who don’t know that they are pregnant. Of women who do know that they’re pregnant, the figure is one in six. Once you’re over 40, and know that you’re pregnant, the figure rises to one in four]

AUTO-IMMUNE BLOOD DISORDERS

Around 20 per cent of recurrent miscarriers suffer from lupus or a similar auto-immune disorder that causes blood clots to form in the developing placenta. 

A simple blood test, which may need to be repeated several times, can reveal whether or not this is the problem.’One negative test does not mean that a women is okay,’ warns Mr Roy Farquharson, consultant gynaecologist who runs an early pregnancy unit at the Liverpool Women’s Hospital. 

Often pregnancy can be a trigger for these disorders, so a test should be done as soon as possible,’ he adds.But it can easily be treated with low dose aspirin or heparin injections, which help to thin the blood and prevent blood clots forming – a recent trial also showed that women do equally well on either. ”We have a 70 per cent live birth rate in women treated for these disorders,’ says Dr Farquharson, ‘which is excellent.’

OTHER CAUSES

While uterine abnormalities, such as fibroids, can cause a miscarriage, many women have no problems carrying a pregnancy to term. An incompetent cervix can also cause miscarriage at around 20 weeks. 

While this can be treated by a special stitch in the cervix, trials suggest it is not particularly successful, although it may delay labour by a few weeks.Gene and chromosomal abnormalities, which can be detected by blood tests, may also cause recurrent miscarriages in a small number of couples. 

A procedure known as preimplantation genetic diagnosis can help. After in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), a single cell is taken from the developing embryo and tested for the gene defect. Only healthy embryos are then replaced in the womb.

 It is an expensive and stressful procedure – and pregnancy rates tend to be quite low – but for some this is preferable to repeated miscarriages or a genetically abnormal baby.