Stacey Solomon has discussed how she uses tidying to overcome ‘intrusive thoughts’ of death and that she still battles feelings of guilt from being a teen mother.
Talking on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast on Monday, the Loose Women presenter, 31, admitted that the reason she likes being ‘meticulously organized’ is that it makes her feel in control.
She opened up about having catastrophic thoughts when she feels ‘out of control’, where her mind will go to the ‘worst case scenario’ and she thinks she will die.
Opened up: Stacey Solomon has discussed how she uses tidying to overcome ‘intrusive thoughts’ of death on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast on Monday
Speaking to Fearne, she said: ‘My ‘out of control’ manifests in fear. I have this really weird fear of death. So the minute I feel out of control I just think I’m going to die. I know that sounds ridiculous, it’s so weird.
‘When things are going wrong I just immediately, my brain goes to the most intrusive thoughts that it possibly could. I just think, “Oh my gosh, this could happen to me tomorrow and then I could not wake up”.’
The influencer, who is known for her ‘Tap to Tidy’ Instagram posts, revealed that she uses organization or crafting as forms of meditation that help her overcome her dark thoughts.
Tap to Tidy: The influencer, 31, revealed that she uses organization or crafting as forms of meditation that help her overcome catastrophic thoughts
She said: ‘The only way for me to completely block out those thoughts when I’m feeling out of control is to focus my mind on a task and that can be tidying something, organising something or crafting something.’
The TV star, who is currently promoting her new book Tap to Tidy: Organising, Crafting & Creating Happiness in a Messy World said: ‘I think all of these things are forms of meditation. I think that exercise, cooking, crafting, all of these things are just a different forms of meditation.’
Stacey also gave an insight into her life as a young mother on the podcast and revealed that she still looks back and feels ‘really guilty’ about that time in her life.
Young mum: Stacey, who became pregnant at the age of 17, also gave an insight into her life as a young mother on the podcast and revealed she still battles feelings of guilt from that time
The mother-of-three who became pregnant with her first child at the age of 17, said: ‘I even now look back and feel really guilty about the way I was as a parent when he was a baby, because I just wasn’t good.
‘And I know that obviously you shouldn’t say that to yourself but that is just the way I feel about the situation.
‘I didn’t want to be his mum, I didn’t know how to be his mum and I found it all very, very difficult.’
The singer said she still feels guilty about having to put three-month-old Zachery in daycare when she was seventeen and doing her final school exams.
Motherhood: The singer said she still feels guilty about having to put three-month-old Zachery in daycare when she was seventeen and doing her final school exams
‘I was still at college so three months after I had Zach I went back to finish my A-levels, and he went to the creche inside the nursery,’ she said.
‘It was an adult learning college so they had a creche, so from like seven in the morning until three o’clock in the afternoon from like three months old, bless him.
‘I honestly can’t tell you how guilty I feel about the whole thing.’
However, the former X-Factor contestant said she has learned to forgive herself and there is nothing she is more proud of than her three sons, Zachary, 12, Leighton, eight, and Rex, 21 months.
She said: ‘I look at exactly what’s going on now and I just think do you know what Stace, you’ve done an amazing job, you are an incredible mum.
‘The boys that I’ve raised, I am so proud of Fearne. There is nothing I am more proud of than my children.
Family: However, the former X-Factor finalist said she has learned to forgive herself and there is nothing she is more proud of than her three sons, Zachary, 12, Leighton, eight, and Rex, 21 months (pictured in October 2020)
‘Every single one of them has had a different upbringing, every single one of them has been born into different circumstances with different lifestyles and they’re all really good people.
‘And I think that goes to show that no matter what regrets I have, no matter what happened in the past, ultimately… it’s all going to be alright.’
The TV star co-parents Zachary, 12, with her former partner Dean Cox and Leighton, eight, with her ex-fiancé Aaron Barham.
She is also the mother to 21-month-old son, Rex, who she shares with her fiancé Joe Swash.
Her TV star beau, 39, popped the question in December during a walk in their local woods alongside their children.
Happy couple: Stacey shares son Rex with fiancé Joe Swash, 39, who popped the question in December during a walk in their local woods alongside their children