Katie Price admits she wrote herself a goodbye letter to cocaine after her stint at The Priory

Katie Price has admitted that she wrote herself a goodbye letter to cocaine after her stint at The Priory in 2018. 

Looking back at her difficult time in a new candid interview, the mother-of-five, 42, said that she doesn’t know how she found the ‘strength’ to ask her doctors for help after ‘self-medicating’ with drugs. 

Katie insisted that her stint at rehab in 2018 was not for drinks or drugs but instead ‘severe traumatic rehabilitation’.

The former glamour model, who recently spent her first Christmas sober after giving up booze with her boyfriend Carl Woods, admitted that she couldn’t ‘deal with everything’ at the time.

Talking to The Times, Katie said: ‘People around me were doing stories that just weren’t true, and I’m trying to get up for air and then I’m being knocked down. It does get to you in the end.

‘And because I’ve got five kids, I thought, “Oh my God, I can’t do this.” I didn’t know how to deal with everything. I just wanted to sleep. I wanted to shut things out. I went to the doctor – I don’t know how I found the strength.

‘And said “I’m doing this [cocaine]. It’s taking over. I can’t cope with it.” He’s known me a long time. He looked at me as if to say, “What?”‘ 

Katie said since her stint at The Priory, she has also written a ‘goodbye letter to cocaine’, which says: ‘You’ll never get the better of me again.’  

The mother-of-five added that she still speaks to her doctor at the rehab centre once a week.  

Katie visited The Priory in September 2018 and spent 28 days in the facility after her family urged her to seek help following wild partying antics in Mallorca and a turbulent year in which she was arrested for drink-driving. 

At the time, she was confronted by her loved ones after shocking footage emerged of her rapping ‘I love coke’ during a booze-fuelled hen do.

Katie broke down after the intervention and admitted she needed help to get over her chaotic behaviour, which she blamed on her PTSD. 

Talking after the difficult time on Loose Women in 2019, Katie said: ‘My family and friends were hurt, they didn’t know what to do. All these years in the industry I never have [done drugs] but I purely did it to self-medicate.

‘I went to the doctors and told them the truth… self-medicating on drugs really, it was disgusting, but it was my way of dealing with it. At least I can hold my hands up, if I didn’t speak out now, I would still be in a rut.’ 

Katie’s ordeal was well-documented after her various brushes with the law throughout 2018 as concerned fans saw her deteriorate.

The TV star went on to discuss her visit to The Priory, which she dismissed as being rehab for drinks or drugs, she said: ‘Nothing to do with any drinks or drugs, I wasn’t near anyone in the Priory [who did drinks or drugs], they said I needed traumatic rehabilitation. 

‘It was what I went through at the beginning of the year, they told me mum was dying, my dog got run over and killed on my drive, horse killed outside my house, kidnap threat against Harvey, ex-husband cheating AGAIN, divorcing, hijack and held at gun point in South Africa, imagine all of that and having a divorce.

‘It was a nightmare, nowhere to run, people doing stories on me. I went to a doctor, told them I’m not myself, I didn’t want to go horse riding, sleeping all the time, I asked for help. 

‘I went to The Priory, I wasn’t a resident, I took the kids to school, then went for the day, then picked up the kids.’ 

Only recently, in October, Katie revealed that she had hit rock bottom and had suicidal thoughts ahead of her stint in The Priory.    

The former glamour model candidly discussed feeling like a ‘different person’ before her stay at the private mental health hospital in London.

Speaking on her YouTube channel, Katie explained how she ‘had thoughts of killing myself’ and knew she would ‘die or self destruct’ if she didn’t get help.

The mother-of-five said: ‘I had thoughts of killing myself. That’s how bad it got for me but you guys don’t know that because Katie Price always puts on a brave face.

‘Believe it or not Loose Women was my breaking point. I don’t know how on earth I used to do it when really I was ill, I was suffering.

‘Now I’d love to do Loose Women or shows because I’m such a different person and it’s all from being in The Priory.’

During the extremely honest video Katie also explained how before getting help she ‘hit rock bottom’ and started ‘self-medicating’.

She said: ‘I’m not proud of it but I had nobody close to me to talk too, they’d all betrayed me at some point, there was few people I could trust.

‘I wanted to keep everything in and couldn’t talk. I just wanted to sleep. I was weak… and I let a drug get the better of me and I let people use me.

‘Then I had a wake-up call… if I don’t get help I’m going to die or self destruct. l had lost me, the kids had lost their mum, nobody believed in me anymore.’

Katie told how she’s struggled for years with how people judge her, saying trolls ‘have no idea’ about who she really is.

She said: ‘I’m a mother-of-five, I come from a normal working class family, I have built my empire to support my kids purely through hard work.

‘So if you wanna knock someone like that, then do it. I might not be the most intelligent person, but I am a grafter.’ 

Katie also explained how during her time at The Priory she had time to reflect and in one session was told to write down what the word ‘rebel’ says about her.

She read out her answer from a blue folder of her notes, saying: ‘Rebel is me in my younger career wearing tiny outfits, going out with people saying “you can’t go out like that” but it was to rebel and get attention….

‘But now that side has had an impact and has gave the wrong impression of what I’m really like inside.. people don’t get to see real me.’

Towards the end of her candid video, Katie looked towards the future and said she’s feeling much stronger now.

Speaking about how she’s now feeling more like the old Katie Price, the star credited her children for helping her get through saying ‘they’re my life and keep me going’.

She said: ‘I hit rock bottom but I’m now back up, now you watch me grow, I’m the powerful independent Katie Price I was years ago.

‘I’m in a happy place, very happy, very strong, in a very very strong relationship, I’m in love, and have found my future, so watch this space.’

Katie is now in a relationship with Carl Woods, with the pair moving in together, trying for a baby and wanting to get married after less than a year of dating. 

The star also offered some advice to her fans who may be struggling with their own mental health, saying ‘everything is resolvable’.

Ending her video, and promising another to reveal a letter she wrote to cocaine, Katie said that she still speaks with a doctor about how she’s feeling.

She said: ‘I’m not in The Priory now but I still speak to doctor, if you have a headache you take a tablet…. I’m not ashamed of my mental health.’

In December, Katie spent her first Christmas sober after admitting that she didn’t think about having a drink during the festive celebration with boyfriend Carl, 31, quitting booze in solidarity.   

The reality star said that it makes her ‘sick’ thinking back on her past decisions and that seeking professional help and becoming an inpatient at The Priory was the ‘best thing she’s ever done’.   

Katie bravely told The Sun that she got to ‘breaking point’ where she felt she ‘couldn’t cope’, but thankfully had a wake-up call and put herself into rehab.

The mother-of-five said that there is now no alcohol in her house at all and proudly admitted that she didn’t think about having a drink on Christmas day this year. 

Katie has children Junior, 15, and Princess, 13, with her ex-husband Peter Andre, 47, and son Jett, seven, and daughter Bunny, six, with former spouse Kieran Hayler, 33.

The former glamour model also has son Harvey, 18, whose father is retired footballer Dwight Yorke, 49.

Harvey is on the autism spectrum and was born with disabilities including partial blindness, septo-optic dysplasia, ADHD and Prader-Willi syndrome, which causes an excessive appetite. 

Katie recently revealed that she has made the heartbreaking decision to send Harvey to a full-time residential college for the next stage of his life from age 18 to 25.       

If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.