A mother provoked ire after revealing she was attending her youngest daughter’s wedding despite the fact she ‘stole’ her older sister’s fiancé.
The unnamed mother, believed to be from the US, explained the complicated situation on Reddit‘s Am I The A****** thread.
She revealed that her youngest daughter Hayleigh, 28, was tying the knot with her older sister Jennifer’s ex-fiancé Sam, and implied that the marriage came about after he cheated on her with her sibling.
But the mother was criticized for ‘taking sides’ when she admitted she didn’t even try to encourage Hayleigh to break off her relationship with Sam for the sake of her sister and had told Jennifer to ‘forgive’ the couple.
She added that the situation had created a rift in her family, who had not spent Christmas together, and she would be walking Hayleigh down the aisle because her husband was too disgusted and refused to give the union his blessing.
A mother provoked ire after revealing she was attending her youngest daughter’s wedding despite the fact she ‘stole’ her older sister’s fiancé. Stock image
The mother began her post by explaining Jennifer’s wedding to Sam was called off because Sam was dating Hayleigh.
She said she told Hayleigh to rethink the relationship, ‘not only for her sister’s sake, but also because “if he could do it once, he could do it twice”‘.
‘I didn’t want her to get hurt,’ she explained. ‘She reassured me that that wasn’t the case – that they were meant for each other and had known this for a long time, so I left it at that.’
The mother went on to say that she had spoken directly with Sam, who had apologized and said ‘it wouldn’t be fair to marry Jennifer when deep in his heart he knew that he was in love with Hayleigh’.
The unnamed mother shared her story on Reddit, explaining she had told Jennifer she needed to ‘forgive’ Sam and Hayleigh
She reasoned: ‘I don’t like the situation anymore than my husband or Jennifer do, but they don’t understand that ignoring the reality of it doesn’t make it go away.
‘I asked my husband if he was willing to risk his relationship with Hayleigh by not walking her down the aisle. Jennifer accused me of trying to twist him to my side.’
The mother added that Jennifer had been ‘bitterly jumping from relationship to relationship’ ever since the break-up ‘because she’s so focused on Hayleigh and Sam’.
When she confronted her, she said Jennifer told that Hayleigh had stolen Sam from her on purpose and had been doing similar things since the girls were young, but the mother claimed she hadn’t noticed.
She added that if Hayleigh had stolen Jennifer’s fiancé, she had ‘done her a favor’ and encouraged Jennifer to move on and ‘forgive’.
‘Then she gave me an ultimatum. She said if I go to the wedding it means Hayleigh was my favorite child all along and that she’ll never speak to me again,’ she went on.
‘I told her that I’m going to the wedding, just as I would’ve gone to hers if she was in that situation. She said okay and hung up. Later, my husband calls me from work telling me she called him crying.’
People criticized the mother for attending Hayleigh’s wedding, and said she was clearly favoring Hayleigh over Jennifer
In an edit to her original post, the mother explained she wasn’t sure whether Hayleigh and Sam had been dating behind Jennifer’s back before the first engagement was called off.
She also added that she didn’t tell Hayleigh she was wrong to marry Sam because ‘if she doesn’t feel like she’s wrong at the age of 28, then nothing I say will convince her otherwise’.
The mother also said she was not siding with Hayleigh, but loved both her daughters ‘unconditionally’ and wanted to be present for both her children.
Many Reddit users criticized the mother’s choices, accusing her of favoring Hayleigh over Jennifer.
‘It’s so sad that she’s so afraid of risking her relationship with Hayleigh that she won’t even tell her she disapproves, but doesn’t really care that Jennifer will never speak to her again,’ one commented.
Some people noted the mother was looking at the issue the wrong way round and that she was bullying Jennifer into accepting the situation Hayleigh had created
Another wrote: ‘OP [original poster] wants her cake and to eat it too. She doesn’t want to come across as the “bad guy” and picking sides. Yet this entire post is proof she has chosen a side.
‘She wants Jennifer to forgive and forget because it is more comfortable for her to pretend they still have the perfect family that acknowledge that her daughter is a s***** person who would happily cheat with her own sister’s fiancé.
‘This isn’t a Disney movie where “true love” conquers all. That is an adult woman who made selfish and cruel choices and you need to stop trying to bully your other daughter into forgiving someone who didn’t give two s**** about her own feelings.’
And one claimed the mother ‘deserved’ to lose her relationship with Jennifer, writing: ‘I just can’t fathom how a parent tries to make the victim smooth things over in order to keep a relationship with the person who caused the problems.
‘Younger daughter is definitely OP’s golden child. I’m so glad the father has good sense. I predict that the younger daughter’s decision to cheat with her sisters fiancé will not only destroy that relationship, but will end up causing her parents divorce as well.’
Meanwhile another suggested: ‘You are treating this as a relationship issue involving Sam and it’s not. It’s about Jennifer being betrayed in the most personal way by her sister. As a mom you can (and should) love and support Hayley as your daughter, but that doesn’t mean condoning a relationship.
‘She needs to learn there are consequences to such incredibly cruel behavior, one of which should be she doesn’t get her dream wedding with universal acceptance.’
And one claimed they were most shocked by the fact the mother didn’t tell Hayleigh she was in the wrong, writing: ‘This honestly bugs me the most: “Oh, I didn’t tell her she did wrong because she wouldn’t listen to me!”. Silence here is approval. It’s mind-boggling that she doesn’t get that.’
And others felt the mother was in the wrong for trying to smooth things over at the expense of Jennifer’s feelings – though one could see where she was coming from.
‘I do agree in keeping the family together,’ they wrote, adding: ‘The easiest way to do that is dump the one person who has literally been screwing everyone over so badly that she isn’t family anymore. Hayleigh can go look for a needle in a mountain of needles with her two bare hands for all anyone cares. Dump the dead weight and be a family with people who are decent to each other.’