Tuck into JAN MOIR’s deliciously demanding food quiz 

Are you a smart cookie or a dumb waiter? Will you find our festive food quiz as easy as pie or a hard nut to crack? Snacks at the ready, and let’s get started. Use your loaf to discover whose goose is cooked and who is bringing home the crispy bacon. 

LOCKDOWN

1. Thousands started baking sourdough bread for the first time in lockdown, discovering the proper name for the yeast starter used in the process. Is it called . . .

A) The pest.

B) The mother.

C) The father.

D) The son.

E) The Holy Ghost.

2. Banana bread was another popular lockdown bake. In a standard recipe, how many bananas does it take to make a 2lb loaf?

A) 8. B) 6. C) 4. D) 2. E) 1.

3. In the first lockdown, which groups of items were the number one panic buys?

A) Candles, champagne, massage oil, chocolate, strawberries.

B) Maltesers, prosecco, Percy Pigs, depilatory creams.

C) Flour, UHT milk, dried pasta, tinned soup.

D) Steak bakes, lager, frozen chips, Pot Noodles.

E) Ibuprofen, Sudafed, Radox, Nytol.

CHRISTMAS

1. Ruby Crunch, Red Bull, Jade Cross, Long Island Improved, Prince Marvel and Valiant are all types of what?

A) Cranberry Cocktail. B) Red-skinned potato.

C) Turkey.

D) Brussels sprout. E) Fruit tea.

2. Which nuts are used in marzipan?

A) Hazelnuts. B) Almonds. C) Pine nuts. D) Walnuts. E) Macadamias.

3. Santa’s reindeers love a carrot left by the hearthside. But carrots are so much more than a fireside snack, right? In what country would Rudolph eat these carroty dishes?

A) Porkkanalaatikko — a carrot casserole.

B) Cezerye — dessert dish made of caramelised carrots, coconut and roasted pistachios.

C) Kinpira — julienned carrots with sesame, soy and maple syrup.

D) Sodd — soup of carrots, mutton and potatoes.

E) Bolo de cenoura — carrot cake with chocolate icing.

4. On Stir-Up Sunday, what is the correct way to stir your Christmas pudding for good luck?

A) Clockwise.

B) Anti-clockwise.

C) North to South.

D) In a figure of eight.

E) Mad zig-zags while drinking sherry and crying.

5. Which Christmas songs are these foodie lyrics from?

A) It doesn’t show signs of stopping and I’ve brought some corn for popping.

B) Bring me flesh and bring me wine, bring me pine logs hither.

C) Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

D) Oh bring us a figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer.

E) There’s a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy, when they pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie.

SWEET TOOTH

1. Name the limited edition boozy version of a popular chocolate bar launched in Japan this month.

A) Betwixt — Brandy-soaked Twix bars.

B) Whisky Barrel-Aged KitKat.

C) Mutiny On The Bounty — flavoured with Caribbean rum.

D) Mummy’s Special Chocolate Buttons — made with 60 per cent proof gin.

E) Santa’s Mars Bars — with a layer of vod-o-ffee (vodka toffee).

2. Which? magazine ran a survey to find out which Quality Street sweet was the most popular. Can you guess which came first, second and third?

A) Purple One, Green Triangle, Strawberry Delight.

B) Green Triangle, Purple One, Toffee Penny.

C) Coconut Éclair, Orange Crème, Choc Caramel Brownie. D) Purple One, Orange Crunch, Green Triangle.

E) Caramel Swirl, Milk Choc Block, Toffee Finger.

3. While we are here, what is the average number of sweets in a standard 720g tub of Quality Street?

A) 124. B) 114. C) 94. D) 84. E) 74.

CELEBRITY CORNER

1. Any celebrity worth her sodium-free salt has an allergy these days. But which ones are real and which have we made up?

A) Ariana Grande is allergic to bananas and tomatoes.

B) The Queen is allergic to turnips.

C) Kate Beckinsale is allergic to coconut oil.

D) Margot Robbie is allergic to egg whites.

E) Nicole Kidman is allergic to strawberries.

2. Which celebrity has two beehives, 80,000 bees and made hundreds of jars of honey in 2020?

A) The Duchess of Cornwall.

B) Beyoncé.

C) Kirstie Allsopp.

D) Rita Ora.

E) Michelle Obama.

3. Reese Witherspoon, Donald Trump, Jessie J and Johnny Depp were all in the news this year. Match each celebrity to their favourite meal.

Breakfast: Puff pastry filled with tofu, courgette, onion and chickpeas.

Elevenses: Smoothie made with lettuce, spinach, apple, coconut water, pear and lemon.

Lunch: One pint of whisky and four lines of cocaine.

Dinner. Two Big Macs, two Filet-O-Fish sandwiches and a small chocolate shake.

4. Calling all Kirstys! Which Kirsty claims her great-great-grandmother, Minnie, originally came up with the recipe for Coronation Chicken, later used to celebrate the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II?

A) Kirsty Young. B) Kirsty Wark. C) Kirstie Alley. D) Kirstie Allsopp. E) Kirsty Gallacher.

5. In April, on This Morning (ITV), what fast-food delicacy was John Torode attempting to make at home when his kitchen caught fire?

A) Silly sausage. B) Flame-grilled Whopper. C) Egg McMuffin. D) KFC Gravy Burger. E) Pepperoni pizza.

6. Strictly Come Dancing star Aljaz Škorjanec says that he eats ‘about a million times what a normal person eats’. So what does he like to order for himself from Nando’s after a hard week’s jiving?

A) Spicy mixed olives; hummus with pita triangles; a chicken butterfly (two breasts); four chicken thighs plus two sides.

B) 15 chicken wings, three portions of macho peas and a mixed leaf salad.

C) A full family platter with four sides, followed by Choc-A-Lot Cake.

D) A beanie patty and a chilly Billy lolly from the kids’ menu.

E) Sweet potato wedges, two whole chickens and a naughty nata dessert.

7. Internet star Joe Sugg fainted on this year’s Celebrity Bake Off after cutting his finger with a what?

A) Machete. B) Boning knife.

C) Razor blade. D) Meat cleaver. E) Vegetable peeler.

8. How does Nigella Lawson pronounce microwave?

A) Mee-crow-wah-vay.

B ) Macro-waff.

C) She doesn’t because they are too common.

D) La Forno a micronde.

E) My pulsing hot box.

DOWN THE PUB

1. Which two of the following were not deemed a substantial meal in the Government’s Tier Two rules introduced in November?

A) Sausage Roll. B) Scotch egg.

C) Pork Scratchings. D) Hot Dog. E) Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps.

2. Speaking of which, Merry Crispmas! Festive-flavoured crisps have become a thing this year. Only one of these crazy flavours is fake, but which one is it?

A) Pigs In Blankets.

B) Bread Sauce ChipSticks.

C) Brussels Sprout.

D) Truffled Cheese and Sparkling Wine.

E) Butter-Basted Turkey.

3. It’s bad luck to drink a toast with which of the following?

A) Vodka. B) Baileys Irish Cream. C) Water.

D) Rosé Wine.

E) A cocktail containing mint.

4. Match the licensed establishment to the show.

A) The Woolpack.

B) The Nag’s Head.

C) Central Perk.

D) Café Nervosa.

E) Rovers Return.

F) Moe’s Tavern.

G) The Bull.

H) Queen Vic.

1. Frasier. 

2. Coronation Street.

3. Emmerdale.

4. The Simpsons.

5. The Archers.

6. EastEnders.

7. Only Fools And Horses.

8. Friends.

PICK ’N’ MIX

1. If you are using a lame and a grignette, what are you doing?

A) Hulling strawberries or raspberries.

B) Scoring bread dough before it goes in the oven.

C) Icing a cake with a mirror glaze.

D) Making farfalle pasta shapes.

E) Peeling exotic mushrooms.

2. What is the main difference between (1) hollandaise and (2) mayonnaise?

A) (1) is made with butter, (2) is made with oil.

B) (1) is from Holland, (2) is from County Mayo in Ireland.

C) (1) is used at Sandringham, (2) is banned at Windsor.

D) (1) is made in a processor, (2) must be whisked by hand.

E) (1) is flavoured with tarragon, (2) is not.

3. Prince William caused a stir when he put milk in his Bolognese sauce this year. Who also outraged spag bol fans by putting white wine instead of red in her recipe?

A) Claudia Winkleman.

B) Angela Hartnett.

C) Nigella.

D) Mary Berry.

E) Prue Leith.

4. Ounce for ounce, what is the world’s most expensive spice?

A) Vanilla. B) Saffron C) Cardamom. D) Ginger.

E) Posh.

5. Four main ingredients. Name that dish.

A) Beans, duck legs, sausage, breadcrumbs.

B) Sheep stomach, suet, oatmeal, unmentionables.

C) Chicken, mushrooms, red wine, bacon.

D) Beef, peppers, paprika, garlic.

E) Sausages, milk, eggs, flour.

6. And for pudding . . .

A) Peaches, sugar, vanilla, raspberry sauce.

B) Sponge fingers, mascarpone, coffee, cocoa powder.

C) Strawberries, crushed meringues, sugar, cream.

D) Digestive biscuits, bananas, chocolate, toffee.

E) Cream, rhubarb, egg white, caster sugar.

ANSWERS 

LOCKDOWN — 1 (B) the mother. 2 (D). 3 (C).

CHRISTMAS — 1 (D). 2 (B). 3 (A) Finland, (B) Turkey, (C ) Japan, (D) Norway, (E) Brazil. 4 (A). 5 (A) Let it Snow, (B) Good King Wenceslas, (C) The Christmas Song, (D) We Wish You A Merry Christmas, (E) Sleigh Ride.

SWEET TOOTH — 1 (B). 2 (A). 3 (E).

CELEBRITY CORNER — 1 All are true except (B). 2 (B). 3 Jessie’s breakfast, Reese’s elevenses, Johnny’s lunch and Donald’s dinner. 4 (D). 5 (C). 6 (A). 7 (E). 8 (A).

DOWN THE PUB — 1 (C) and (E). 2 Bread Sauce ChipSticks. 3 (C). 4 A and 3, B and 7, C and 8, D and 1, E and 2, F and 4, G and 5, H and 6.

PICK ’N’ MIX — 1 (B). 2 (A). 3 (D). 4 (B). 5 (A) cassoulet, (B) haggis, (C ) coq au vin, (D) goulash, (E) toad in the hole. 6 (A) peach melba, (B) tiramisu, (C) Eton Mess, (D) banoffee pie, (E) rhubarb fool.