Binky Felstead reveals speaking out about her miscarriage helped her ‘process it’

Binky Felstead has revealed speaking out about her miscarriage ‘helped her process’ the tragic loss.

The Made In Chelsea star, 30, said she ‘wasn’t herself’ after learning she’d miscarried her second child, but has taken comfort from receiving the support of other women who went through the same thing.

In October, Binky revealed she and her fiancé Max Darnton were ‘heartbroken’ after learning they’d miscarried their baby at the 12 week mark, as they shared the news in an emotional Instagram message.

Moving: Binky Felstead, 30, has revealed speaking out about her miscarriage ‘helped her process’ the tragic loss

Speaking on Steph’s Packed Lunch on Thursday, Binky reflected on the decision to publicly share her miscarriage with fans, admitting she pondered over whether to post it on social media.

She said: ‘It did take me a while to actually push the post button. I’d been on TV for a while and always shared my up moments, and I do think it’s fair to share my down moments as well. The response that came back from doing so was incredible.

‘Immediately [I] had messages flooding through… By talking about it and getting it out in the open, it helped me process it a lot as well and to know that other people out there have experienced, or are experiencing, the same thing as you.’

'Heartbroken': In October the star revealed she and fiancé Max Darnton were devastated to learn they'd miscarried at the 12 week mark

‘Heartbroken’: In October the star revealed she and fiancé Max Darnton were devastated to learn they’d miscarried at the 12 week mark

Emotional: Speaking on Steph's Packed Lunch, Binky reflected on the decision to publicly share her miscarriage with fans, saying she's taken comfort from the support she received

Emotional: Speaking on Steph’s Packed Lunch, Binky reflected on the decision to publicly share her miscarriage with fans, saying she’s taken comfort from the support she received

Binky also admitted she doesn’t feel miscarriages are discussed enough, and doesn’t understand why it’s such a ‘taboo.’

She added: ‘I had no idea that one in four pregnancies do end in miscarriage. 

‘I’d never really known anyone talk about it before, I don’t know why it is such a taboo subject, I don’t know why you feel like you can’t talk about it… I still don’t understand.’

Hard: She said: 'I'd never really known anyone talk about it before, I don't know why it is such a taboo subject, I don't know why you feel like you can't talk about it'

Hard: She said: ‘I’d never really known anyone talk about it before, I don’t know why it is such a taboo subject, I don’t know why you feel like you can’t talk about it’

The star said the loss also took a toll on her mental health, saying: ‘For a couple of months after, I was not myself at all. I thought it would just be like, ”oh ok,” process it, park it aside and then move on, but it’s not that easy.’

For Steph’s Packed Lunch, Binky also met with comedian Sophie McCartney, who after having a miscarriage earlier this year shared an emotional video about her experience.

Sophie told Binky: ‘I wanted to talk about it, it felt like a weight off my shoulders to actually say it out loud… The more I talk to other people about it, the lighter I feel.’

The pair also discussed Meghan Markle’s own decision to speak about her miscarriage.

Hard: The star said the loss also took a toll on her mental health, saying: 'For a couple of months after, I was not myself at all'

Hard: The star said the loss also took a toll on her mental health, saying: ‘For a couple of months after, I was not myself at all’

Sophie said: ‘By coming out and sharing her story when she didn’t have to, I think that would have helped to break down some of those feelings about taboo, and just getting across the message of we should all be asking whether everyone’s OK.’

‘My biggest advice I can give to anybody is to just talk. You don’t have to tell the world, but I do think if you can, if you’re able to, tell your support network because it’s invaluable.’

In October Binky took to Instagram to pen a lengthy message revealing she’d suffered a miscarriage earlier in the year.

Discussion: For Steph's Packed Lunch, Binky also met with comedian Sophie McCartney, who after having a miscarriage earlier this year shared an emotional video about her experience

Discussion: For Steph’s Packed Lunch, Binky also met with comedian Sophie McCartney, who after having a miscarriage earlier this year shared an emotional video about her experience

The star, who also shares daughter India, three, with her ex Josh Patterson – took to Instagram to post an emotional message to her followers.

She wrote: ‘I’ve thought long and hard about doing this post, but I felt that if I can pass on any warmth, comfort or help to anybody in the same position – well that would be great. It’s only fair that I share some of my ‘downs’ as well as my ‘up’ moments.

‘Today would have been my 18 week mark, but sadly we had an early miscarriage just before 12 weeks. Not only was this heartbreaking for us, but it also came as such a shock to me.

‘I hadn’t realised until then how blessed I was with having such a relatively straight forward pregnancy with India – I’ll admit I was naive enough to assume the next one would be as straightforward, but I had two early scans as I was concerned I was bleeding. They found a ‘very strong’ heartbeat. However, on the third scan I was told ‘I’m afraid there’s no heartbeat’.

‘I was told by my doctor that 1 in 4 pregnancies miscarry (not that statistics make it any easier!) With 82% of my following being women – that means roughly 237,800 women ‘following’ me could (or have) experienced the same, which is just so sad.

Sad news: In October Binky took to Instagram to pen a lengthy message revealing she'd suffered a miscarriage earlier in the year

Sad news: In October Binky took to Instagram to pen a lengthy message revealing she’d suffered a miscarriage earlier in the year 

 

Moving: The star already shares daughter India , three, with her ex Josh Patterson

Moving: The star already shares daughter India , three, with her ex Josh Patterson

‘When speaking to a few close friends about our situation, we learned that some of them too have had miscarriages in the past. I asked them why they’ve never said anything, and they just said they felt they couldn’t, or shouldn’t talk about it. Almost like it’s a taboo subject, which is heartbreaking.

‘If you have been through this, I hope you are giving yourself time to mentally and physically heal and do what you need. I keep reminding myself that there was nothing I could have done, and perhaps this was nature’s way of saying that for whatever reason, this little soul wasn’t ready for the world. Sending so so much love .

‘I later learned that @miscarriageassociation is available to help anyone who has/is experiencing this. It’s a national charity that provides support and information for anyone who’s affected by miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy, this includes both women and men.

‘You can call their helpline or talk to them on live chat or even message them on Instagram, and they will do whatever they can to help you through.’

Support: Binky's MIC co-star Louise Thompson replied with a string of hearts

Support: Binky’s MIC co-star Louise Thompson replied with a string of hearts

New chapter: Binky announced she was engaged to Max after 19 months of dating and shared a picture kissing the businessman while holding up her hand to show off the sparkling diamond

New chapter: Binky announced she was engaged to Max after 19 months of dating and shared a picture kissing the businessman while holding up her hand to show off the sparkling diamond

Lovely: Max will become India's stepfather when the couple wed

Lovely: Max will become India’s stepfather when the couple wed

Binky’s MIC co-star Louise Thompson replied with a string of hearts. 

Binky announced she was engaged to Max, after 19 months of dating and shared a picture kissing the businessman while holding up her hand to show off the sparkling diamond.

Gushing about the proposal, which took place after he asked her daughter India, three, for permission to pop the question, she wrote: ‘The easiest ‘Yes’ EVER! 

‘On Friday morning, on their way to the duck pond, Max asked India for her permission to ask her mummy to marry him. 

‘I love you Max – you bring out the best in me. Im so lucky (sic).’ 

In the sweet snap, Binky passionately kissed her beau after she had accepted his proposal, which took place in a picturesque field at the Long Man of Wilmington.

Earlier that month, Binky and Max threw an intimate engagement party and returned to the not-so romantic scene of their first kiss. 

Binky and Max have been going strong ever since meeting at separate parties at private members’ club Soho Farmhouse in January 2019. 

How at least one in six pregnancies ends in a miscarriage

One in six pregnancies in women who know they are pregnant become miscarriages.

But even more happen among women who don’t know they have conceived.

Miscarriage occurs when a pregnancy is lost within the first 23 weeks after conception.

The main symptoms are bleeding from the vagina, which may be accompanied by lower abdominal pain.

There are various reasons women may have a miscarriage – it is common and is not usually caused by something they have done.

If a miscarriage happens in the second trimester – between weeks 14 and 26 – it may be a sign of an underlying problem.

Often, miscarriages are isolated events and women will go on to have successful pregnancies.

The majority of miscarriages can’t be prevented, although being generally healthy will help reduce the risk.

Losing three or more pregnancies in a row – known as recurrent miscarriages – is uncommon but still affects around one in 100 women. 

The honest post about the miscarriage comes as several other stars have opened up about their experiences with miscarriage in recent weeks.

Chrissy Teigen and her husband John Legend shared the news of their recent loss publicly, prompting praise from actress Kate Beckinsale, who spoke candidly about how she was forced to deal with her own experience privately.

Chrissy, 34, announced she had tragically lost her third child around halfway into her pregnancy, days after she was admitted to the hospital with severe bleeding. 

She revealed she was on ‘serious bed rest’ due to the bleeding and ‘about halfway through her pregnancy’, which is around 20-24 weeks. A stillbirth is when a baby is born dead at 24 weeks or later. 

Chrissy had previously explained: ‘I’m about halfway through pregnancy and the blood has been going on for about a month, maybe a little bit less than a month. 

‘We’re talking about more than your period girls, it’s definitely not spotting. A lot of people spot but it’s usually fine. Mine was a lot,’ she explained. 

Teigen had already been on strict bed rest earlier this month but explained she was admitted to the hospital after her bleeding had worsened.  

‘Everytime I go to the bathroom it would be blood, and honestly just laying there there would be blood.’  

Chrissy made the heartbreaking announcement she had lost her child at the end of September, where she shared several devastating photos of herself in the aftermath. 

‘We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before,’ Chrissy posted on Instagram.

‘We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.’

The couple typically don’t name their children until after birth, but Chrissy said they had already started referring to him as Jack.

‘We never decide on our babies’ names until the last possible moment after they’re born, just before we leave the hospital,’ she explained.

Tragic: The honest post comes as several other stars have opened up about their experiences with miscarriage in recent weeks. Chrissy Teigen and her husband John Legend shared the news of their recent loss publicly

Tragic: The honest post comes as several other stars have opened up about their experiences with miscarriage in recent weeks. Chrissy Teigen and her husband John Legend shared the news of their recent loss publicly

Ambassador: Kate Beckinsale has signed up as an ambassador for leading baby loss and grief support charity The Mariposa Trust, after publicly revealing her own experience

Ambassador: Kate Beckinsale has signed up as an ambassador for leading baby loss and grief support charity The Mariposa Trust, after publicly revealing her own experience

Brave post: Danny Cipriani revealed fiancée Victoria Rose tragically lost a baby boy River at 24 weeks as he said 'I’ve had to emotionally heal in ways that I haven’t experienced before'

Brave post: Danny Cipriani revealed fiancée Victoria Rose tragically lost a baby boy River at 24 weeks as he said ‘I’ve had to emotionally heal in ways that I haven’t experienced before’

‘But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever.’

In response to this, Beckinsale signed up as an ambassador for leading baby loss and grief support charity The Mariposa Trust, after publicly revealing her own experience.

At the start of the month, the British actress, 47, took to Instagram to speak out about her own pain.

Secret agony: Kate confessed, 'Years ago, I lost a baby at 20 weeks. I had managed to keep my pregnancy quiet and I absolutely collapsed inside and no one would have known'

Secret agony: Kate confessed, ‘Years ago, I lost a baby at 20 weeks. I had managed to keep my pregnancy quiet and I absolutely collapsed inside and no one would have known’

Danny said: 'This may seem a sad post, it isn’t. This break now from last season and reflecting is a special place to be. I’m more determined than ever to keep growing learning and loving with my woman'

Danny said: ‘This may seem a sad post, it isn’t. This break now from last season and reflecting is a special place to be. I’m more determined than ever to keep growing learning and loving with my woman’

Helping others: Danny wrote a very moving piece in which he discussed what he and Victoria had gone through

Helping others: Danny wrote a very moving piece in which he discussed what he and Victoria had gone through 

Grieving: Teigen shed tears as she sat on the hospital bed in a bravely honest post which she shared with her fans

Grieving: Teigen shed tears as she sat on the hospital bed in a bravely honest post which she shared with her fans 

Disbelief: Shortly after uploading her undeniably sad news to Instagram, Chrissy took to her Twitter page to further express her shock

Disbelief: Shortly after uploading her undeniably sad news to Instagram, Chrissy took to her Twitter page to further express her shock 

Hollywood screen star Kate joins the likes of Jools Oliver, Kym Marsh, Nigella Lawson, Baroness Floella Benjamin, and Sally Phillips in helping to raise the profile pf the charity’s work in supporting anyone affected by baby loss. 

Rugby player Danny Cipriani also revealed his fiancée Victoria Rose tragically lost their baby when she was 24 weeks pregnant.

He said how he was excited to become a father and that he and mental health campaigner Victoria, 39, had named their baby boy River in an emotional Instagram post last Tuesday.

The sportsman wrote: ‘At 24 weeks we lost River, our son. Was and is always going to be difficult, but we supported each other through it and found our love grew and got strong.’

If you have been affected by this story, you can seek advice at www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk or by calling 01924 200 799. 

Steph’s Packed Lunch airs weekdays at 12.30pm on Channel 4. 

WHAT IS A STILLBIRTH?

A stillbirth occurs when a baby is born dead after 24 weeks of pregnancy. 

If a baby dies before 24 weeks of pregnancy, it is known as a miscarriage.

Not all stillbirths can be prevented, however, not smoking or drinking, as well as not sleeping on your back and attending all antenatal appointments can reduce the risk. 

What are the signs? 

Signs may include the baby not moving as much as normal.

Pregnant women should contact their doctor immediately if they notice a difference to their baby’s movement. 

What are the causes? 

Stillbirths do not always have an obvious cause but may occur due to complications with the placenta or a birth defect.

They are also more likely to occur if women suffer from high blood pressure, diabetes or an infection that affects the baby, such as flu. 

Stillbirths are more likely to occur if women are having twins or multiple pregnancies, are overweight, smoke, are over 35 or have a pre-existing condition, such as epilepsy.

What happens after a stillbirth? 

If a baby has died, women may wait for their labour to start naturally or they may be induced if their health is at risk. 

Bereavement support groups are available to parents who have suffered stillbirths.

Some find it helpful to name their baby or take pictures with them.  

 Source: NHS Choices