Ashley James has spoken passionately about her feelings when turning 30 and urged fans not to be perturbed by entering their third decade.
In a lengthy post shared on Instagram, the former Made In Chelsea star, 33, shared an image from the day of her 30th birthday and a recent image showing her cradling her baby bump, as she awaits the arrival of her first child.
As she uses her platform to promote ‘single positivity’ and wax lyrical about her six years spent out of a relationship, in her latest post, shared on Thursday night, she urged fans not to feel ‘old or left on the shelf’ in their third decade.
Changing lives: Ashley James has spoken passionately about her feelings when turning 30 and urged fans not to be perturbed by entering their third decade
Ashley is expecting her first child with Tom Andrews, who she has known for a decade yet began dating last year, before they made their happy announcement.
The blonde beauty has often spoken about her former single status and in her post about turning 30, she detailed how she felt not only in her love life but also in her career and in not owning a house at 29.
In the caption on the striking duo of images, Ashley penned: ‘Does/did anyone else have turning 30 firmly placed in their heads as being officially old?
‘I definitely did. I mean I had a total breakdown in the months leading up to my 30th, I didn’t feel old enough to be… Well, old.
Powerful: In a lengthy post shared on Instagram, the former Made In Chelsea star, 33, shared an image from the day of her 30th birthday and a recent image showing her cradling her baby bump, as she awaits the arrival of her first child
‘I hadn’t achieved any of the things you’re “meant” to have achieved by 30. I didn’t own a house, had no savings, wasn’t married…
‘I wasn’t even in a relationship (I hadn’t figured out single positivity and still saw my single status as a badge of failure highlighted by my ability to only attract emotionally unavailable people)…
‘I was nowhere near achieving what I wanted in my career, and I worried I would no longer be relevant. I felt like my looming birthday signified my failure, and the official end of my youth. It made me miserable and I was a mess.
I know I’m not the only one who has this age cemented in their heads either. I have both friends and followers always lamenting the fact they’re nearly 30, as if they’re running out of time. It made me wonder why this?
Happy days: Ashley is expecting her first child with Tom Andrews, who she has known for a decade yet began dating last year, before they made their happy announcement
Why do we have so many negative thoughts and limiting beliefs around turning 30? Well a lot of it boils down to the opinions and expectations passed down to us by society and people of other generations.
I remember hearing people talk about women who were single at 30 as being “left on the shelf”, their “looks fading”…
‘I believed women in their 30’s were so desperate for marriage and babies that they’d try and trap anyone… Even piercing holes in condoms. I mean, Bridget Jones was depicted as a spinster at the age of 32.
Loved-up: This week, she celebrated her year anniversary with her boyfriend Tommy, 31, quipping that she ‘didn’t like men too much’ when they met due to bad dating experiences
‘I remember at school making pacts with friends that “if we’re not married by the time we’re 30” we’d marry each other, as if that was ourr last chance. Who else did this?
‘It took me two whole years to admit to my age without recoiling at the sound of ‘thir’. “I’m thir-twenty nine”’, I’d say.
‘But I’m on the other side of 30 to tell you it’s way better. We age like fine wines, it’s more fun, and do you know what? We need to extend our timelines…
‘We’re not old or past it… the average life expectancy is 84 so we still have over 50 years to live! Life’s only getting better. I for one am WAY happier now.’
Self-love: Ashley often refers to the fact that she was single for six years before she met Tommy and said that helped her to learn things about herself
This week, she celebrated her year anniversary with her boyfriend Tommy, 31, quipping that she ‘didn’t like men too much’ when they met due to bad dating experiences.
But she credited her ‘independence’ for helping her finally form a toxic-free romance with her beau.
Ashley’s baby is due in January and she wrote: ‘It’s the 1st December which means it’s exactly 365 days ago since we went on our first date…
‘We both said from the beginning we wanted an adventure, and this year has certainly been that… I can’t wait to see where next year takes us.’