Hands-off approach to parenting lowers stress and makes parents more competent

Helicopter parents should take a step back: Watching your toddler explore their world is good for your mental health, study shows

  • ‘Respectful Approach’ treats children as capable and independent humans 
  • Found hands-off approach makes parents more competent and less stressed
  • Future research will see if the benefits to mental health are long term and how this approach impacts child development  

Parents who sit back and let their children learn for themselves a lot of the time are less stressed than when using a more direct approach, a study finds.

Researchers from Australia studied 15 parents enrolled in parenting classes and studied how effective a hands-off method was.  

This so-called Respectful Approach treats children as capable and independent humans and was compared to other parenting techniques.  

It is hoped that by giving the youngsters more space, they can flourish with the extra freedom away from too much adult direction. 

Analysis revealed that parents that took this class once a week for a month and a half were significantly more competent and marginally less stressed.  

Researchers from Australia studied 15 parents who were enrolled in parenting classes and studied how effective a hands-off approach was (stock) 

Mandy Richardson, a PhD candidate at Edith Cowan University, took data from the Respectful Approach parent-child classes and compared it to a control group of 23 parents.

Once a week, parents and their children attended a weekly class where the adults watched the infants or toddlers play in a room with age appropriate toys.

At the end of the six weeks, a meeting was held to assess how the adults had found the change in their parenting methods and the impact it had on their mental health. 

Parents in the Respectful Approach classes reported significantly lower stress levels, with more confidence and a better understanding of their children’s capabilities. 

Parents who sit back and let their children learn for themselves a lot of the time are better and less stressed than when using a more direct approach (stock)

Parents who sit back and let their children learn for themselves a lot of the time are better and less stressed than when using a more direct approach (stock)

‘Helicopter parents’ are to blame for snowflake ‘Gen-Z’ youngsters struggling at university 

They are the generation often accused of being overly sensitive ‘snowflakes’.

But if young people are struggling to cope with life, their clingy parents may bear some responsibility.

A study has found the so-called ‘Gen-Z’ individuals aged 16 to 22 worry far more when they have ‘helicopter’ parents over-involved in their lives.

At a time when young people are unusually ‘close and communicative’ with their parents, those with controlling parents are more anxious about the transition to adulthood.

Researchers led by the University of Mississippi surveyed 335 students who had just left home and started higher education about their relationship with their parents.

They found those whose believed their parents gave them less independence were more anxious about the transition to college, with stronger worries about workload, money and if others would like them.

‘Parents in the intervention group demonstrated a significant increase in parent competence with no significant change observed in the control group,’ the researchers write in their study, published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies

‘Parent stress significantly increased in the control group and marginally decreased in the intervention group. 

‘Qualitative analysis revealed that the intervention parents felt they were calmer and better understood their children.’ 

Ms Richardson said the Respectful Approach is about building a trusting, lasting bond with positive communication between parents and children. 

Milestones and specific targets are not priorities, instead it is about nurturing the emotional bond between parent and child. 

‘Participants in the study reported worrying less about performance pressure after attending the classes, which let them refocus on their relationship with their children,’ she said.

‘As parents we tend to go and ‘save’ our children when they start to struggle with something, instead of letting them try to resolve their own challenges. 

‘But if the children aren’t looking for help, perhaps they can be left to do their own thing and work it out themselves.’

Ms Richardson explained the Respectful Approach helps to establish good patterns in early years which sets children up well for later life.  

‘Traditionally early behavioural interventions have predominantly focused on modifying undesirable child behaviours,’ Ms Richardson said.

‘By building good communication and a close parent-child bond, we can potentially prevent problems occurring in the long term.’

The research will now be expanded to track parents and children over three years to see if a decline in parental stress levels is long-lasting and how it impacts child development. 

HELICOPTER PARENTING: A FORM OF OVERPROTECTIVE PARENTING

Parents who are overprotective are sometimes referred to as ‘helicopter parents’. 

They earned this stereotype for being perceived as relentlessly hovering over their children, trying to micro-manage their affairs. 

The first use of the term is widely attributed to Dr Haim Ginott’s 1969 book Parents & Teenagers. 

In it, teens said their parents would hover over them like a helicopter.

The term became popular enough to become a dictionary entry in 2011.

Helicopter parents pay extremely close attention to their children to try to protect them from failure, rejection and injury. 

They want ‘happy’ children and often believe that teachers should pay attention to their children in the same overprotective way.

This approach has sparked controversy, with some experts arguing that in order for children to become well adjusted, they need to experience a full range of emotions. 

Parents who want their children to always be happy are doing their children a disservice, in this view.  

The ‘helicopter’ parent rushes in to help rather than allowing their child to have a go at managing a challenging situation themselves.

Some experts say that this can lead to children who are unable to cope with even minor issues, as they are never given the opportunity to fail and then learn from their mistakes.

However, some experts suggest that such ‘pushy’ parenting may provide children with benefits in later life.

Among them is Dr Matthias Doepke, a professor of economics in the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences at Northwestern University.

He argues that the intensity of parenting has gone up in many countries in line with rising inequality.

Pushy ‘helicopter’ parents, normally from more economically advantaged backgrounds, generally raising higher achieving offspring.