Coronavirus: The long-term effects of lockdown on YOUR baby

The Duchess of Sussex is reportedly worried about the impact a lack of socialising is having on her one-year-old son, Archie – and mothers from around the world have spoken out to admit they share her fears. 

Meghan Markle, 38, is understood to be concerned that Archie doesn’t have enough interaction with other toddlers, both due to coronavirus and the fact that her high profile means she can’t join ‘Mommy and Me’ classes like other new mothers. 

While these mothers don’t have to shy away from socialising because they are famous, they have been forced to adapt to a new, more insular life for themselves and their children as a result of coronavirus restrictions. 

Speaking to FEMAIL, five women shared their stories of how lockdown has impacted their children, all of whom are under the age of two. 

One mother admitted she feared quarantine had ‘broken’ her baby, while another’s daughter has become shy, even around family members she was comfortable with before the crisis started. Meanwhile a new mother living in Australia told how she worries her two-month-old daughter will grow up to be ‘clingy’ because she has only spent time with her parents in the first 10 weeks of her life.  

However three different parenting experts have spoken to FEMAIL to explain that, while these concerns are understandable given the current situation, the reality is that there is likely to have been very little impact upon a child’s development. And, if there has been a change in behaviour, this can be reversed. 

‘LOCKDOWN BROKE MY BABY’ 

Darryl Hannah Baker, 33, lives in north London with partner Lee Saunderson, 42, and their one-year-old daughter Blake Rae Saunderson.   

Honestly I believe lockdown broke my baby. During the first few months I didn’t really give the impact of not seeing anyone on my daughter Blake much thought; she was nine months old, much too young for it to affect her! True, we’d stopped our weekly baby groups, play dates with my mum friends and seeing family, but she was a baby, what did she know? We saw my mum and dad on a few occasions from our front door and their driveways and she was her usual happy, smiley self.

Fast forward three months to when we could start having socially distanced meet ups and Blake was a mess. She’d become clingy and frightened, and would uncontrollably cry in front of people she, pre-lockdown, knew well, including her aunties and uncles. She even went through a two-week phase of not letting my husband, her daddy Lee, anywhere near her. He’d been working from home since mid-March and had seen more of her than ever, but she would suddenly scream if he fed or held her.

For her first birthday in June, we threw a garden party at my mum’s house, and Blake wouldn’t look at anyone apart from me, my mum and step-dad. It was heart-breaking because pictures and video calls with Blake kept everyone’s spirits up during the dark days of lockdown and now she was acting like she didn’t know who anyone was.

It also caused me anxiety as the end of my maternity leave approached and the start date of Blake being at a childminder loomed ever closer. While it was a relief she could be looked after while we both worked, all planned settling in days were scrapped because of the restrictions imposed at the height of the pandemic, and predictably she was awful during the first week in childcare in late June. So much so I had to pick her up at lunchtime and juggle work and her. 

Thankfully, it’s now been three weeks and Blake has settled in nicely, with the childminder having a ‘breakthrough’ after only five days. In this short space of time, Blake is back to being the confident and chatty little girl she was in March, and gives her childminder and new friends big smiles when she leaves for the day. She’s also happily been in the company of her family, and has stopped being so wary of anyone other than me.

The damage was only short-term, but it was upsetting and unsettling to be faced with the realities of how lockdown can impact even the littlest of people.

‘IT’S HEARTBREAKING TO SEE MY DAUGHTER SO SHY’

PR consultant Sophie Attwood, 28, lives in Cheshire with her partner Daniel Lewis, 37, and their 18-month-old daughter Isla Lewis.

We made the joint decision to take Isla out of nursery as soon as we heard that Covid-19 had spread to the UK, so she hasn’t met with other children since February of this year. That is a big change from the socialising she used to do before lockdown, when she would be in nursery three days a week and spend the remaining two with either her dad or myself while we juggled work. 

On those days she would go out for a full day of activities – whether at soft play, the zoo or for a walk – all instances where she would usually see other people and importantly be able to interact with other children. 

Now it has been almost five months since Isla has been with children her own age and, at 18 months old, it has come at a really crucial time for her development.  

While it’s been so lovely to spend quality time with Isla and watch her grow in terms of her learning – she took her first steps during lockdown and now can count to 10, knows all of her letters and has her own incredible little personality – it’s also heartbreaking to see a new shyness to her when we go out now. 

We went for a socially distanced walk with a friend and her son when the government lifted the lockdown and she hid behind my legs for at least fifteen minutes before she felt confident enough to walk alongside me. Similarly, she hadn’t seen my brother, her uncle, since the start of lockdown and she was just so shy for a long while when she saw him initially.  

To begin socialising again, we have started seeing family and I’m trying to take Isla to places where she will see other people. Yesterday we went to a nature reserve and I made a point of talking to parents with other children. 

We don’t yet feel comfortable to put Isla back into nursery but I know that Isla does need to socialise soon and so we have to weigh up the risks and benefits without our own anxieties clouding our judgment. 

I know that with some careful guidance post-lockdown we will be able to support Isla to regain her confidence but I do worry for some children who may not necessarily have those opportunities and support. 

‘OUR SOCIABLE SON MISSED OTHER PEOPLE’

Lisa Parkins, 38, lives in London with her wife Lynsey, 42, and their one-year-old son, Teddy. The couple run YouTube parenting channel Teddy Has Two Mams.   

At the beginning of lockdown we didn’t even take Teddy out for a walk – I don’t think he left the house for two weeks. But once we realised we weren’t coming out of quarantine anytime soon we started taking him to the park, and occasionally when it couldn’t be avoided we would take him to the supermarket.  

In the beginning I was sure a one-year-old was the perfect age for lockdown – easy enough to entertain at home, didn’t question not being allowed out –  but Teddy is a very sociable child and we quickly began to realise that he was missing other people. 

We would often catch him approaching other kids in the park, that’s if they hadn’t come up to him first. They all just wanted someone to play with. Thank goodness for wonderful neighbours and sunshine which meant he was able to at least see people who weren’t us, at a safe distance of course. But it is still heart-breaking to see him approach people he knows and not understand why they won’t scoop him up for a cuddle.

Teddy would normally be with other kids his age at least three times a week, and that’s before any impromptu meetups are planned with other mums. He would be at swimming lessons, music class and soft play every week. We carried on with some of Teddy’s classes online, but it’s not quite the same although his face does light up when his music teacher comes on the TV.

While we obviously have concerns about Coronavirus, a soon as we were able to send Teddy back to nursery we did so. Once we were happy with the safety measures in place, there wasn’t really a question – we wanted him back with other children and socialising. I do worry his long term development would have been impacted had we not had that option. He was doing so well in all areas just before lockdown – it’s difficult to know what he could have achieved in those months had he been with other children his age.  

He is definitely happier back at nursery, we all are to be honest. He has also done some social-distance socialising, with family as well as some of his other little friends.

I do worry about some of his relationships going forward – his favourite neighbour, his nana, he still doesn’t understand why they can’t cuddle and I hope when they are allowed that he won’t be nervous.

‘I WORRY IT’LL MAKE MY DAUGHTER CLINGY’

Davina Green, 28, lives in Sydney with her husband Ollie, also 28, and their two-month-old daughter, Nina.   

In a normal world not only would Nina have met her Grandparents and other family members and friends by now, we would have been going to mothers groups, baby and mama yoga classes.

Nina would have had many opportunities to met new faces and to be held and played with by others. I worry what kind of impact this lack of social interaction early on will have on her development: will it make her super clingy or anxious about meeting new people? Will she be frightened of her grandparents? 

I wonder if when we can ‘safely’ go to these classes whether other parents will be as willing to let their children interact and play with other children as they were before. Which would again impact the development of social skills etc. I guess time will tell!

‘HE HAS EXTREME STRANGER ANXIETY’ 

Kathryn Leckie, 30, lives in Seaton Delaval, Northumberland, with her wife Bex, 32, their son Rowan, 11 months, and Bex’s uncle Steven, 51.

From being born, Rowan has been extremely happy and content when around other people, but since we’ve started to see his grandparents again, that has changed. 

Now, if my parents pick him up, he is extremely upset and struggling to be put back down or passed to my wife and I. We are aware he is in the age range where ‘stranger anxiety’ would usually develop, but this seems to be a much more extreme form of that. 

He still hasn’t been around children his age since the start of lockdown, and we aren’t sure when that will happen- so it will be interesting to see how he reacts when around his peers. 

We have discussed the impact lockdown might have on his wellbeing and development. There are worries it will take a while to get him feeling comfortable with our family members again, and even more so, people outside of the family. The lack of baby groups – he usually goes to two a week – has meant his ability to play with children his age has been completely cut off. 

Also, as much as we have tried to engage in things like messy play with him at home, I don’t think it’s been to the same degree or variety as he would have been exposed to by going to baby groups. Even just exposure to normal every day experiences, like going to the shops! We used to take him swimming once a week, which obviously has stopped and it feels like we will be back to square one with getting him comfortable in water.

Bex, my wife, has been shielding for 12 weeks, and that was really starting to have an impact on her mental wellbeing. Plus, we were concerned that the longer things went on, how much that would impact Rowan as well. 

We broke lockdown for my nephew’s birthday, on June 20 and spent time with my family, to celebrate that. Still just in their garden, and still socially distanced- although we didn’t impose a 2m rule on Rowan, as that’s pretty difficult with an 11-month-old who wants to be constantly on the move! 

Even though Bex works from home, we are considering Rowan going to nursery or a childminder to try and help his socialisation and development, to counter the impact of lockdown.