There’s a fun bit of pop trivia I once read which claims that, at any given point in time, somewhere in the world, at least one radio station is playing the Eagles’ Hotel California.
Those with a close ear to news programming during this lockdown might think the same is true of Matt Hancock.
The man’s simply everywhere, isn’t he? Switch on the radio or TV news right now, and chances are you’ll find the Health Secretary waxing forth on the corona crisis.
If there were such a thing as airwave miles, he and the wife would have a couple of first-class, round-the-world trips banked by now, with enough left for a family holiday to Lanzarote.
Switch on the radio or TV news right now, and chances are you’ll find the Health Secretary waxing forth on the corona crisis
What’s the secret behind his eternal zestfulness? Caffeine pills? Celery juice? Whatever it is, the rest of the country could use some once the lockdown comes to an end.
Yesterday, he was in the Commons to deliver a statement to the House on the Government’s ‘track and trace’ scheme.
Say what you like about Mr Hancock, but he’s a resilient so-and-so. Yes, he had the mildly contemptuous air of the head prefect who addresses the younger pupils as boy, but he is a minister largely on top of his brief.
There are no ums, or ers, or d’ya mind if I get back to yous when he appears in the chamber. Questions are usually met with answers.
There was some early argy-bargy with his opposite number Jon Ashworth, with whom relations have hitherto been fragrant.
Mr Ashworth, an erstwhile sensible voice, made some chippy remarks about the private sector’s involvement in testing.
Hancock bristled. Not one single test, he affirmed, would have been possible without the private sector.
With an expansive wave of the arms, he announced he had hoped that wing of the Labour party had left the Shadow Cabinet when Jeremy Corbyn slinked off to the backbenches.
Matt Hancock enjoyed some early argy-bargy with his opposite number Jon Ashworth (pictured)
Quite right. Dread to think where we would be in this mess without our bustling private sector.
Where would we have been without the skills and expertise of our supermarkets’ supply chain?
It was notable that when Alan Brown (SNP, Kilmarnock and Loudoun) made a similar criticism about private business, Hancock once again took issue with his remarks.
The crisis, he said, had ‘ended for good the idea that public services alone should deliver certain services… teamwork is the best option’.
As if to demonstrate that point, up popped Joy Morrissey (Con, Beaconsfield) to offer praise to initiatives in her constituency to provide the NHS with PPE.
Hancock agreed, singling out the Daily Mail-backed Mail Force appeal, which had raised ‘enormous amounts of money’ in procuring medical equipment for our NHS heroes.
Sourness soon returned as Barry Sheerman (Lab, Huddersfield) piped up, decrying the ‘shambles’ the Government was presiding over.
He wondered why the lockdown was being eased when the R rate of infections had doubled in Yorkshire.
It hasn’t doubled at all, said Hancock insouciantly, treating Sheerman’s comments with the same regard as lunchtime suppers ignore the snarls of the ranting pub bore.
If there was a patronising tone in Sheerman’s voice as he addressed Hancock, it might partly be explained by a widely held assumption that, as one of George Osborne’s former acolytes, the minister was one of David Cameron’s posh Notting Hill set.
Not so. When Nick Smith (Lab, Blaenau Gwent) demanded provisions be made for miners in his constituency whose weak lungs from their time in the pit had left them vulnerable to the virus, Hancock sympathised, ‘hailing from mining stock myself’. This is not a card he’s shy of playing.
Towards the end that never-ending conundrum over protective masks was raised. Hilary Benn (Lab, Leeds Central) – appearing in front of a sparse mantelpiece and bare walls, possibly an unused room in his mansion – wanted reassurance that teachers returning to the classroom would be permitted to wear them. Hancock replied that was a matter for the school head to decide. It always is, you know.
As the clock struck 16.30, the Health Secretary headed for the exit. More meetings, more briefings and, no doubt, another appointment with the airwaves.